Wednesday, 31 August 2011


Here it is.  Nice town, but it feels like it's time to throw a dart at a map.

Monday, 29 August 2011

Socks and...

...SANDALS!  Fuckin' deal with it!  I like it that way!

Sunday, 28 August 2011

E and T-dogs

Blur, reunited
  E-dog was in town for the weekend, taking a break from his diplomatic duties.  He looked more like a European surfer lost in Thailand than a diplomat, but hell, it's the weekend.  Last night we were all fired up and shouting slogans like "Let's get all fucked up then hit the bars and go crazy!", as the throbbing guitar intro to 'The Boys are Back in Town' squealed in our heads.  Fuck yeah!!  Sadly, reality was 500% tamer.  We had a big meal, then settled down on Dance's back porch and timidly sipped at beer so slowly that we were never actually legally impaired.  We of course then passed out one by one, like quiet little kittens.  Extreeeme!
  Also, I saw T-dog today.  E-dog, T-dog and I tore up Northern Europe on our infamous 'Hobo Tour 2001', which saw us drinking gin on windy ship decks/breakdancing in the Bothnian Gulf, and grievously abusing the honor system of the old Eurail pass.  Extreeeeme!

That Irene

Rainier and windier than it looks
  It was rainy and windy today, and the power was out in NDG, thanks to that Irene.  Not the bloodbath the media was baying for though.

John Spencer, the cat

  John Spencer (named after Jon Spencer, o'course) is Dance's cat.  He's 12 if he's a day, and I have fond memories of stuffing him into my shirt, or into plastic bags back in the day.  He liked it, oh yes he did!  Oh yes he did!  So he went missing a few months back, and, thanks to some heroic postering efforts on Dance's part, he was re-found three months and many miles later/away, skinny in a park.  He's turned into a lap cat, and he meows like a baby human.  He was also very interested in our balcony jam-session.  We played some Avett Brothers, of course.  Then John Spencer stuck out his tongue.  Silly cat.  Good ol cat.  Good ol whitehands 'Pence.
  I'm thinking this blog isn't quite the same without the underpinning of everyday Korea anger roiling just below the surface.  We'll see.  Here's a picture of some pizza I ate!  What?


  Yes, beer paradise indeed.  I was all 'This is the best store in the world!' to the guy, and he was modestly like 'No no, just the best store in the province.'  So I came back with a 'Then it's the best store in Eastern Canada', to which he replied 'Yes, I guess it is.'  I picked up some Tuborg Green there, the best shit ever, to grease the wheels of an old-timey stringband jam with Mr. Vatek.  Wow, I can just feel myself getting healthier by the day!  Oh boy!  Health!  Wheeeeeeze.
  I haven't taken off my Korean sandals since returning, and I think people are starting to quietly ask questions.


  It seems dumb to be putting pictures of food up here, when I'm in the real world.  It's one thing to take pictures of pig spine soup or something wacky, but taking, let alone posting pictures of pizza seems lame.  Ah well, it's my fackin' blog, innit.  These two refreshing items are notable in that they were high on my crave list when I was in Korea.  A chicken souvlaki pitta/amazing home fries from Villa Souvlaki, best consumed with a Coke.  Cosmos was packed this morning (there are only nine seats in the joint), so Villa was the logical door number two.  It didn't disappoint.
  Then for dinner, which was by candlelight thanks to that Irene, an old school Italian mushroom pizza from B&M.  Complete with bread ball in the middle, it was also perfect.  And I had a club sandwich yesterday.  There go my fucking washboard abs.  Time for a beer.

Friday, 26 August 2011

Birding Ontario

  Last weekend I went on a birding trip with Dance to rural eastern Ontario.  Man oh man, one of the small towns we stopped in felt like something out of a very bad movie.  The focal point of the town was a Tim Horton's off the highway, and all the sleeveless white trash extras with mullets, prison tats, gunts, and beat-up '97 Mustangs were chillin' in the parking lot, smoking.  Just kickin' it old school.  I was gonna take a picture, but I feared for my life.  Not really, but they were pretty trashy.  More on trashy locals in another post, I've got a good rant boiling.
  Anyhoo, we spent the day at four different sewage lagoons, looking for...birds.  They gave us snazzy walkie-talkies for on-the-road birding and directions.  Yessir, a whooole different kettle of fish than birding in Korea.
  I miss my scooter.  I miss a few things about Jeju, like the crew I rolled with mostly.  Also, the food.  I greatly miss the "Hey do you wanna scoot over to the secret spot and go snorkeling and speargun some fish to eat for breakfast and/or go to the beach before work?" lifestyle.

Musical relics

  I just dusted off these old gems.  LINT was my first real band (InBread's first show at Station 10 was cancelled due to Amit breaking up the band), and this was our first demo tape.  Dom, top left, was the bassist, but at that point she couldn't really play.  We couldn't either, to be fair, but she couldn't keep up with our one and two-chord songs, so she had to go.  The other two guys in the band made me tell her.  Not cool.  We all had crushes on her, but none of us really did anything about it, because we were lame.  LINT was around for a couple of years, and we always played with the same two bands - Bloo, our friends, and The Lawnmowers, our enemies.  Good times.  I refuse to listen to the tape, because I know how hard it sucks.
  The Unabombers CD is a bit easier to listen to, as it's pure 2-track, 1-take, fuzzdrunk noiserock goodness.  If I do say so myself.  No one ever got the "Soon to be recording artists!!!"
  Incidentally, I'm out of contact with two members of LINT, and one member of the Unabombers - they've been swallowed up by rock n roll I suppose.

Wednesday, 24 August 2011


No reason, just a good word, I think more people should use it.  It's barf awareness month.  This'd probably make me barf, it's some kinda barfy super-concentrated energy drink in a tiny bottle they sell in bars so I guess drunk people can feel like they're waking up.  'Like a donkey punch to the heart!', is how I would market it.  Been doing a whole lotta nothing lately, which is what I needed after almost three straight years of something.  But that's gotta change soon.  I think I'll go to a second-hand bookstore tomorrow.  And nothing else.  Barf.

Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Seoul with Piss-bottle Man

  I spent my last few days in Korea sleeping on Piss-bottle Man's floor.  It was pretty chill, we drank (as we do), watched tons of South Park, went to a movie (romantic), and played mini-golf.  Goddamn it, I was running away with the game for the first 9, but he crept back and we tied at 55.  Balls to that.  It took me a few months to fully forgive him for keelhauling my hat.  He put it down the front of his pants, and pulled it out of the back of his pants.  Friends.  Anyhow, Seoul itself...I won't miss it.
  I ripped up my hands today smashing tennis ball slapshots against a wall for an hour.

Monday, 22 August 2011

Poutine...the real

I only eat at the classy joints

I wish this picture was right now

If loving this is wrong, then I don't wanna be right
Some poutine purists may think otherwise, but I've gotta say, the poutine at the 'big orange' is good shit - best in town.  Yup.  Squeaky cheese, thick and disgusting gravy, and fries so fried they're translucent.

Saturday, 20 August 2011

Goodbye Geck's

I almost puked this right back up - first class all the way!

1...2...3...4...I declare a miniature sword war!

Cake and a photobomber going 'HAA!'
  This feels like a very long time ago.  Was my very last night at Geck's, less than a month ago (really?).  A chillaxin time, said bye to a good crew of folks that night.  Flaming drinks, miniature sword wars, and a cake from an Irish saint made for a classic night.

We're number one! We're number one!

'I hate my life' is what she's thinking...
Before the BBQ, Yossarian (my evil red-haired twin) and I met up at Brutopia a few hours early, as we've been doing for years.  A few Extra Blondes and some ill-advised afternoon Jamieson later, we ambled up the street through a trashy Nascar wasteland.  We couldn't (we just couldn't!) resist the temptation of posing for a photo with this comely young lass.  It's always a non-stop guffaw/giggle-session when Yossarian and I are both in town.  Hee hee!  Giggle!

The Ole Gang

  Yesterday I went to a cheerful and boozy reunion BBQ with my 'European Studies' crew from college.  We were in the same classes for two years together, and then we went to Denmark and Holland for a glorious month in the middle of the semester.  We were meant to be there pursuing academic brass rings, but the only brass we saw was holding up the bars we spent a lot of time in.  Ha, well I guess we did go to a lot of museums and the like, and Yossarian and I interviewed four Danish guys that had been in the resistance in WWII.  Talk about your brass, these guys were stone cold badass.
  At Skagen, the northern tip of Denmark's Jutland peninsula, Yossarian and I charged into the North Sea/Baltic in our March.  Boom!  Rows of old German tourists (The Varicose Blitzkrieg) stared at us sternly.  Anyhow, it was awesome to see my old classmates and teachers once again.  Folks are doing well, and I'm the only one without a kid/family.  Heh, I never did straighten out.  I'll have kids when I'm forty.  Yup.  And my wife will be 25, ha ha ha.

Thursday, 18 August 2011

Girls' Generation cards

Girls' Generation is a surgically-enhanced Korean pop group.  While waiting to go see a movie in Jeju-si almost a year ago, B-Mil, Piss Bottle Man and I bought these cards outside a Family Mart.  We were drinking heavily.  Soju and blue Powerade, if I recall correctly, a devastatingly effective mix.  'Blue Crack'.  These cards are stupid.  So stupid.  Stupid cards!  Ha ha!

Poutine...the first

But not the last.  This is not traditional Quebec poutine, it's fancy spicy Irish pub poutine - doesn't even use cheese curds!  The thing was massive too, I wasn't hungry for days after.  Anyways, I'll get some of the real stuff soon.  Ho hum, nothing hilarious to relay today.

Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Chipping Sparrows

Adult and juvenile.  I've got a super-huge blister on my left heel.  It's big and liquidy.  Not used to all the walking.  I miss my scoot, but that's spilled milk, in the past.  "The past is still the past", I always say.

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Random planes




Renard Air is now boarding
  Major rest stops on Korean highways feature airplanes in the parking lots - moderately interesting.  Also planes, were the Korean Air A380, and the Vladivostok Air jet I spotted while waiting for my freedom bird at Incheon. The Vladivostok Air plane was notable because every single passenger I saw heading for it was a statuesque Russian blond renard, each one bafflingly hotter than the last.  Thankfully, many of them were running.
  I just remembered a story a guy told me three years ago, to the day.  He told me about how he punched out his dog because it stole a chicken off the table.  Punching out dogs is never cool, but the story was fucking hilarious.  "Fuuuuck yoooou!" he screamed, as he punched it out.  Hee hee.

Pics of Pics

Petulant at 17

Rockout witcher cockout

Depenised, but good

Dance, hopelessly betangled

The always popular 'sexy nurses'

Rota, guitar god


We had a DJ mixing in Star Wars sound effects, hectic
  I found a bulging bag of old pictures.  I took pictures of some of those pictures.  Here are some of those.  The old rock band, don't you know.  It was a blur of fun, beer, and loud.
  It's raining.  Here, the rain smells like rocks.  On Jeju, it smelled like the ocean, or, if you were lucky, the ocean mixed with pine trees.   Not to say that rocks is a bad smell.  Rocks smell fine.
 I wandered around a grocery store today, stunned, like the guy in The Hurt Locker, at the end.  I saw The Devil's Double the other day.  It was aiiight, but I did feel like a creeper, sitting in the theatre on my own.