Tuesday, 29 May 2012
|Oooh, get it brah! This may have happened on Udo in November 2010...|
I've got a sweet knock-knock joke! Wanna hear it? You start.
Thursday, 24 May 2012
|In better form|
From left to right, we have : The pop-off head-explosion bear socks; the God!! socks; the 'My life is so sad I have to drink soju' bear socks; and the nipple-nosed grouch-looking guy eating up my feet socks. Oh, happy day!
Wednesday, 23 May 2012
|See me? See me?|
|I'm one of two dudes who decided to tuck...|
Incidentally, I chose the #17 for my uniform to honour the legendary Dock Ellis, who pitched a no-hitter in 1970 for the Pittsburgh Pirates...while on LSD. Righteous. Here's his tale:
"I didn't see the hitters..."
Monday, 21 May 2012
|Edamame (soy) beans - tasty as beans will get|
|Sounded so much more epic when we ordered it|
|Good, but the pan was actually a 1/32nd scale model of an actual frying pan|
|Sushi. Expensive. Listen to me whinge!|
|Fried expensive shit on a stick|
|Yet we didn't try the 'Tender poke chicken gizzard', what gives?|
I've still got tons of Japan stuff to put up, been lackadaisical lately, on a few fronts. I've got stuff to put up from March. Lazy lazy lazy, ugh.
I forget if I've brought this up before, but wouldn't it be fucked up if Stephen Hawking was a hoax?
Thursday, 17 May 2012
Tuesday, 15 May 2012
|One size fits all|
|Home sweet coffin|
|Omigod! I've just woken up - what year is it? Have we reached Ursa Major yet?|
|We will refuse the eating and drinking in the capsule hard.|
This one was a pretty confusing operation, even by Japanese standards. The capsules, sauna/showers, and locker room were all on different floors. On each floor you visit, you're meant to surrender a further layer of your clothes and possessions, in exchange for another key. In the lobby, you surrender your shoes to the shoe locker. You then go downstairs and lock your clothing in a locker in exchange for a set of spiffy brown pyjamas. Then you go up two floors to the shower room, where you leave your pyjamas and toiletries in another locker, and head butt-ass nekkid into the sauna area, where Japanese men invariably stare at your genitals with steely seriousness.
Well, all of this nonsense confused me a bit in the morning. A hazy morning, we'll say. I got all mixed up in the locker room, because I came in already wearing the pyjamas. I stripped naked and headed out...into the lobby crowded with folks checking out. I stopped, raised my finger as if I'd forgoetten something, and headed back in to put back on my pyjamas. Fail.
I kept the pyjamas by the way. I'm wearing them now, in fact.
Sunday, 13 May 2012
|It is my pleasure to accept your waste, sir!|
|Japan. Thank you.|
|Dancing animatronic noodles|
Friday, 11 May 2012
|I'm gonna bite his penis! Bite!|
As I swept my hand back up, the centipede clung momentarily to my glove, before spiralling through the air straight at my face. I closed my eyes, screamed 'Wuuuuuh!' and recoiled backwards. When I opened my eyes, I couldn't locate the centipede, so I jumped up and down like a ninny, frantically swatting at my clothes. I finally spotted the beast triumphantly scuttling away, so I took its picture and swore heartily. Little fucker.