Harfang Perdu

Okpo harbor

2012-02-17T07:32:00.002-08:00

Kimchi a'fermenting

A strip of old seafood restos

Some kind of good luck ritual for a new boat (?)

DSME shipyards - the sole employer in Okpo, really

Add caption

Not sure if I'd be eating fish caught next to a shipyard...

...or next to this milky mystery

I checked out Okpo's harbor almost two weeks ago. It probably still looks like this.

Morning thunder!!!

2012-02-15T19:49:00.000-08:00

Sniffing tailpipes to get friendly

Biggest helmet on Earth

Spooning out front

Too many exclamation points? Never!!!!!! After taking off the yellow basket (I know, I know, it was cool, but it had to go), Amadeus and I took a little test drive up the coast. I need better gloves. My bike isn't exactly the youngest girl at the party, but I shined her up, and she's looking aiight. I'm definitely going to paint an American flag on the tank.
So it turns out I'm pretty good at shifting up, and I'm getting a handle on downshifting on hills, but I'm still Stally McStallerson when starting her up and at red lights, so I'm going to need a few more days of around-the-block test drives before I do any circumnavs. I was worried about the weight, but it felt very light and natural in the corners.
When we were done our war ride, we went to the 'Sweet Buns Cafe' and drank hazelnut coffee, while trying to redeem our manhood by talking in gruff voices about gears and oil.

Heavy metal thunder

2012-02-15T06:02:00.001-08:00

I'm filling the basket with rainbows and kittens!

Step 2: Start a gang

Here she is, the new ride. Yes, yes, there's a big funny yellow basket on the back. I'm currently sourcing some tools to hack that thing off. On my first ride I stalled the crap out of it a few times getting it started, then wobbled off, to the concern/amusement of the scoot shop guy. Once I got it on a straight stretch of road I opened it up pretty well though. I'm still not 100% on the gears, but I plan on riding around the block for a few days to make sure I can rub my stomach and pat my head at the same time. Actually, Amadeus and I are planning on heading up the coast tomorrow morning.
These bigger bikes are all metal, and they rattle like a bucket of nails. That is good. Don't get me wrong, I loved the shit out of my plastic toilet, I mean Forte, but I definitely feel a bit manlier riding this hawg. My next step is going to be making a shirt that says: 'If you can read this, my road-wife fell off' on the back.

Best meal ever

2012-02-15T05:19:00.000-08:00

Perfection

He loves when meat goes in his mouth

Best foreign food in Korea, that is. I'm having a hard time thinking of a better meal I've had in Korea in a long while. Cobain (who snores by the way, so I feel the pain of others who claim that I do the same) was crashing on my couch for a few days, and we rolled into nearby Okpo last night to check shit out. We ended up following some good advice and going to a Turkish place cleverly named 'Turkish House'. We opted to go big, in lieu of going home, and got the 60$ two-person feast. It was insane-diculous, I'm a believer.
After some bread and soup (that mercifully didn't taste like cigarettes, unlike the Turkish place in Gohyeon), they brought out nan bread and Thor's meat plate. There was meat everywhere, I kept finding new clumps of it hiding under other stuff. There's still more meat than blood in my veins. Damn. Sweet-ass tea and tapioca/pistachio pudding for dessert was equally badass. He's coming back this weekend, and we're doing the 70$ three-person feast.
Later on, we made some startling observations in Okpo, but I'll get into all of that another time.

Geoj-signs, more

2012-02-13T08:03:00.000-08:00

Meat-house cafe

Cha-moan!

Best name ever for a bar?

Dead Smurfs on a stick are considered a delicacy here

There was a bar in Jeju City called 'The Bitches'. Regrettably, I never got a picture. I spotted a bar in Okpo called 'We'll Come', but was camera-less. Apparently all the European engineers at the shipyards in Okpo (10 minutes down the road) have led to an overabundance of Filipina hooker type bars there. The world is sure...interesting?

Hiking Geyryongsan

2012-02-13T07:02:00.002-08:00

Amadeus finds a frozen mammoth

My hood is at 11 o'clock in this pic

Soon to be explored side of the island

There, it's something

The valley that used to be a POW camp

Samsung shipyards - the sole employer in Gohyeon, really

I climbed the tallest mountain on Geoje before work last week with Amadeus. Solid hike, good times. Plenty of tits up here, and we spotted a Eurasian Jay. Good news, the knee seems to be mending well. Who needs a doctor? Not me.

The Sadies and Neko Case - Eastwinds

2012-02-12T06:16:00.000-08:00

Righteous.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NsfAvGlaJ0

Cinnamon street cake things

2012-02-12T06:10:00.000-08:00

These bad boys in-a-cup cost less than a dollar - another good walking-around food. They're filled with hot cinnamon-y awesome-sauce.

Just got back from kicking Busan's ass with Cobain. Best. Weekend. Ever. Some details to follow, but most will be omitted to protect the guilty.

Frank Sinatra - It was a Very Good Year

2012-02-09T04:18:00.000-08:00

Show 'em, Frankie. Climbed the tallest mountain on Geoje this morning. Now I'm tired, like a dog on fire. Turkish kebabs and The Rum Diary, now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwv-DxOPhSc

Ice-eat Mountain vs.Corsica = conspiracy?

2012-02-07T08:13:00.000-08:00

Ice-eat Mountain, when viewed from above, looks disturbingly like Corsica, a place I dearly love. George Noori needs to start looking into this shit, I think it means something, more than mashed potatoes do.

Solo Ninja Day Raid: Ice-eating Crazy-hike

2012-02-07T07:45:00.000-08:00

I was aiming for the pass, but ended up going over yon hill on the right

End of the trail

Steep, rocky, and Tim Burton-y

Deer shite

Sweet sweet moutain ice to slake my thirst

Desert boots - not the best hiking footwear available

Follow the deer trail

The inevitable hardened gun emplacement at the top

Not the worst spot to be buried

Natural spring, unnatural spigot

No pot of gold at the end, just all of that shite

On a whim (a whim!) I decided to take a shortcut over the hills I'd heard about. I guessed it was in the pass between two mini-mountains, and headed up, with no hiking boots, water, or food of course. After a while the trail petered out and I somehow inexplicably missed the pass and ended up scrambling up the steep, trail-less mini-mountain on the right. I was very tempted to turn back, as my desert boots are not what I'd call legit hiking boots. Steve McQueen never took his off, but that's beside the point. My still-shitty knee made the climb a bit more of an adventure. It took a good 30 minutes, but by sticking to the switchback deer trails I managed to make my way up towards the top. It's there where I found a vein of sweet sweet mountain ice to eat. 'Nature will provide', I thought to myself wisely. The adventure of it all.

Ninja Night Raid: Apollo Mission #1

2012-02-07T07:00:00.000-08:00

Looked pretty rad through the binos

Neon jetsam

Same view, different lighting

I can't think of anything better to do at 9:50 pm on a full-moon night than hike up Parrotbill Mountain, slightly buzzed. Amadeus and I braved crisp winds and dodged bolting deer on the way up, our path lit by perfect blue moonlight. It was a listen-to-the-wind-rush-through-the-pines, frozen-lips(wips) kind of hike. It's been decided that we must do something awesome on the night of every full moon. Sounds like a plan. I smell fireworks in the future. High five!

Deflated ice cream thing

2012-02-07T04:33:00.000-08:00

A few days ago I came across a deflated ice cream thing. It was the saddest thing I ever saw.

Moving out

2012-02-05T07:28:00.000-08:00

Because Koreans live in massive shitty apartment clusters, they use telescopic slide-em-up trucks and just fire shit right on out the window. Hang on, I also live in a massive shitty apartment cluster.:(

Geoj-signs

2012-02-05T02:46:00.000-08:00

HARD ROCK Family bar

Moon-eyed police elf skanking with a chick

Hospitasl

2012-02-05T02:41:00.000-08:00

If Snoop Dogg opened up a shitty little hospital in Korea, he'd probably call it a 'Hospitasl'.

The Jesus and Mary Chain - Just Like Honey

2012-02-04T07:26:00.000-08:00

I just had an e-versation with someone about this song. Good for the sending-you-to-sleep.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EgB__YratE&ob=av3e

Welcome to Krazyland

2012-02-02T02:48:00.000-08:00

Watch the road for a sec, wouldja brah?

About ten years ago, I watched some late night TV host joke about car accessories, and he ended the bit with 'Yeah, and next they'll be putting little TVs on the dash so people can watch TV and drive at the same time!' Big laughs. Well, they're living the joke here in the good ol' ROK, as all cabbies and many other folks have little TVs on the dash, so that they indeed can watch TV while the drive. Not GPS, T frickin' V.

The 'Dutch Oven', explained

2012-02-02T01:20:00.000-08:00

I recently found myself in the position of explaining to a Korean guy just exactly what a 'Dutch Oven' was. So I drew a Dutch Oven er...graphic novel. Boom! After I took this picture, I added 'The End?' at the bottom.

A Korean squirrel

2012-02-01T07:31:00.000-08:00

As promised, here is a Korean squirrel.

Geoje's most wanted, 2012 edition

2012-02-01T07:27:00.000-08:00

All your fave miscreants are here! Meet this year's team!

1. Babydick Johnson
2. Lee the Blockhead
3. The Midnight Squinter
4. Malachai, the Serial-killing Fisherman
5. Sneaky Jimmy
6. The Coy Screamer
7. Pretty Pete
8. Alien-face McJames
9. Neck-meat Kim
10. Hammerhead Ted
11. Mike Smith
12. 'They-caught-my-crimmo-ass' Park
13. Mike the Mongol
14. Combover Carl
15. Sang-Woo the Psycho
16. 'I fucks arses' Jones
17. The Man-hag
18. Ol' Shitsem-bricks
19. Kim 'I only kill Russian hookers' Dae-Jung
20. Bill

The Avett Brothers - When I Drink

2012-01-31T05:50:00.000-08:00

There's a Jim Morrison poem that goes thusly:

I drink so I can talk to assholes.

This includes me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpwaikUTLYY&feature=related

Nothing but camp

2012-01-30T07:50:00.000-08:00

That city there on the right...

...was a massive POW camp during the war...

...and a sleepy-ish town in 1980 (bottom)

What I found most interesting at the museum, apart from the never-ending shit buckets and barbed-wire flails, was the fact that a 'modern' city now stands where a camp housing 450,000 prisoners once stood. In pictures from 1980, the city is barely there yet. More fuel for my rants about how disgusting and haphazard so much of Korean urban architecture is. No Korean city has an actual skyline, but an endless jumble of concrete slab monoliths tarted up with a cut-paste facade of interchangable yet identity-free storefronts: Family Mart, meat restaurant, brothel, bar, kindergarten, Face Shop...next street...copy and paste, ad nauseum. Wow, must be time for bed, listen to this nonsense.

POW camp weapons

2012-01-30T07:38:00.000-08:00

T-28, nothing to do with the POW camp

Barbed-wire flail! Barbed-wire flail!

There were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.

There it is again (b.w.f)

My 'favourite' was the barbed-wire flail. There were quite a few bloody uprisings at this camp, so lots of folks were getting medieval on each others asses with those beasts.

Feces is fun!

2012-01-30T07:29:00.000-08:00

Hey! Lookit us! Look at the pair of us shittin' sons'a'bitches!

My mother will be proud

Get it brah!

Price of admission? 3,000 won. Getting to frolic among life-sized 55-gallon drums filled with fake maggoty feces? Priceless.

Oh snap!

Let's play light-sabres! Wheee!

Poo-poo and pee-pee is always gonna be funny, every damn time.

Geoje POW camp museum

2012-01-30T07:23:00.000-08:00

A massive fibreglass tank

Hey, there's Mao!

And m'man Joe!

Dioramas! Booyeah!

Lookit, I'm a miserable prisoner! Cheese!

Young Joe Pantoliano

The most useless giant fibreglass helmet ever

Hey! Where are you from!?

Another fairly useless giant fibreglass helmet

That city back there? All camp, in the day.

Hurraying!

This happened to me last week, exactly this.

Most of the actual camp ruins can be found outside of the museum, down the road.

Last weekend I checked out the hokey POW camp museum just down the road with a new pal...we'll call him Young Joe Pantoliano. The entire Gohyeon valley, which today houses a city, was filled with commie prisoners during the war. Korean museums love their wacky dioramas, and hell, who doesn't love a good diorama? There were quite a few disconcertingly pointless fibreglass structures on the premises, such as a massive tank housing...drum roll...an escalator flanked by cardboard dictators. And massive fibreglass helmets housing a few poorly-written paragraphs in a display case. I guess I'm critical to the point of being mean.

U2 - Van Diemen's Land

2012-01-29T07:45:00.000-08:00

The Edge! Screw Bono, The Edge is what time it's at. I have a vague memory of getting really drunk one night, years ago, and writing a letter to The Edge asking him what guitar effect he was using on some song. I'm not too sure if I actually sent the letter, but I'd be curious to read that letter now. I watched Killing Bono the other day, it was aiight.
This song always gets me. It sounds good on the mando. Oh, I jammed with a banjo guy last week at a nearby bar, good times. We did Dirty Old Town, Wagon Wheel, and something else I sure forget. He's leaving soon, hopefully there are other folks to jam with. Rock!
I'm drinking kava tea, praying for sleep.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ug4qJN9rpYQ&feature=related

Chicken Syndrome

2012-01-27T21:14:00.000-08:00

I find my Chicken Syndrome chicken goes well with a glass of Chuk Hyup milk.

You are what you eat

2012-01-25T06:44:00.000-08:00

Roly poly fish heads

I guess it's a shamanistic/Buddhist nod to the year of the dragon. With legs. Hey, District 9 is on, badass! It's the sveetie man coming!

Happy ew year

2012-01-25T03:10:00.000-08:00

The last few days have been pretty cold (for Korea), so it made being apartment-ridden with a bum knee for a five-day weekend easier to live with. The first couple of weeks on Geoje were crazy warm, up to 12 degrees most days. I'm guessing that fooled some creepy crawlies, because I spotted some mega-wasps and what I think was a mega-wasp larvae crawling around, all gross. Ew.

Catsmile

2012-01-25T02:35:00.000-08:00

I was having a rough couple of days, then this cat was like 'No worries, she'll be roight mate. Prriaow.'

Lost balls

2012-01-25T02:26:00.000-08:00

Wilsonnn!

Lost or just neglected?

A lost frisbee, just to mix it up

Dégueulasse

On Jeju, I saw a lot of abandoned oranges. Total disrespect for a fine fruit. Here on Geoje, people seem to have a similar disregard for balls. I've seen countless left balls here over the past couple of weeks (no rights, snicker!). A lot of them are just a few feet down in a ditch or something. Man, when I was young, I nearly killed myself climbing after roofed balls and wedged hacky sacks, but the kids here, I dunno. Maybe they know they can buy another shitty ball for 2$, so why get wet I guess. Lazy little bastards.

Band of Horses - Detlef Schrempf

2012-01-23T03:59:00.000-08:00

This song reminds me of taking the best airport bus of my life, long ago. There's ice on my knee.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48LiGv-I_jY

Geoje Birds lately

2012-01-22T04:43:00.000-08:00

Daurian Redstart

Japanese White-eye

Pale Thrush in pale light

Olive-backed Pipit

Little Grebe

Great Crested Grebe

Baikal Teal

Grey Heron

Eurasian Teal

Large-billed Crows, hungry for deer faces

Eurasian Wigeon

Daurian Redstarts are the best. They lead you down the trail like an impatient spirit guide, creaking their squeaky hinge creak.

Way back

2012-01-22T04:04:00.000-08:00

Good to be back in the good old ROK

I forgot about a nice little episode from my Chicago-Beijing flight a few weeks ago. I got on the plane and was standing in the galley area waiting for the traffic jam to ease to I could get to my seat, and I reached back to adjust my camera bag. At that moment, a flight attendant was trying to sneak past me with a tray of champagne and orange juice for the first class folks. I elbowed the tray and it went flying, sending sweet sweet liquid flying all over the flight attendant and a Chinese lady. The former got up in my face, seething, looking like she wanted to slug me in the nuts. Let me tell you, having her face in mine was not fun, because, and I don't want to be overly unkind here, but her face was like a plate of meat. Like Dog the Bounty Hunter in a uniform. Anyways, she didn't slug me in the nuts, but it was a pretty awkward 13-hour flight.
The Shawshank Redemption was on today, always a good thing. The Shank!

A heap of deer faces

2012-01-21T00:02:00.000-08:00

On my way down a mountain today, I saw some Large-billed Crows (Corvus macrorhyncos in Latin, which I think is just neat) pecking at some furry meat from a distance. I was pretty sure I wouldn't like what I found when I got there, and I was right. Someone had dumped a heap of deer faces and guts on a shell midden. Grossest thing I've seen and smelled all week.

The ghost stump

2012-01-20T23:55:00.000-08:00

'Ohhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh! Oh!', the ghost stump moaned.

NEW YOURK

2012-01-20T23:42:00.000-08:00

Har! Man, Koreans are goofy for their green duct tape. I tried to find some of the silver stuff, because it comforts me, but all they've got is green. Dang.
I'm Still Here is a pretty funny movie. What else? Ah, I just finished season 2 of Boardwalk Empire, and I was pretty fucking shocked by the last episode.

Occupy 2012

2012-01-20T23:36:00.000-08:00

Here's one more little gem from the 514. Everything I don't like is stupid! Occupy 2012!

Getting Physical AKA Best Video Ever

2012-01-18T06:51:00.000-08:00

Blink and you'll miss it. People don't believe me when I tell them I see wacky shit every day in Korea. Believe me. It's the Rapture!

It's blacker demon, like the hell it's hot

2012-01-18T06:38:00.000-08:00

There's a Swedish death metal or bluegrass song in there for sure. I'm fat full of quail eggs, and my feet are cold. I'm going to hit a new mountain tomorrow morning. Don't be stressed when you're blessed, someone said once, on the TV.

Quail eggs! Quail eggs? Quail eggs.

2012-01-17T04:20:00.000-08:00

You know you really must be 85% Korean when you find yourself popping boiled quail eggs into your mouth like popcorn. I've seen Japanese Quail in Korea. Usually in farm fields, scuttling around all fast and shit. They're small birds, hence the eggs. The eggs are also small. Correspondingly small. I like turtles. I may hit up Busan with Piss-bottle Man this weekend. Maybe Cobain too if he can be convinced.

Poong-oh-pahng

2012-01-17T04:16:00.000-08:00

Black beans inside

Banana slurry? Yes please.

P-o-p tent

Poong-oh-pahng is fish-shaped waffle batter filled with hot black bean slurry. Three for a dollar from any street corner food tent, good for a walking around snack. I discovered some today that were filled with some kind of banana custard or something, the next level shit. They'd be amazing filled with ham n cheese, but so would most inanimate objects.

Jay-Z - Dirt Off Your Shoulder

2012-01-16T06:39:00.000-08:00

Two Sundays ago I made the mistake of going into Home Plus...on a Sunday. Hundreds of merciless, bustling Koreans conspired to grind my dazed ass into a mess with their whistling shopping carts of misery. The blue-screen-of-jetlag-death flashed in my brain, and all I wanted to do was ball up and whimper. Then this song shuffled in, and I 'turned up the music in the headphones'. I became a god, and started pushing back, chin out and frosty.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nlOeqEIHXY

BUM HAND

2012-01-15T19:05:00.000-08:00

My old school shit-ticket holder said 'BUM HAN' on it. I think 'BUM HAND' is more appropriate, don't you? I'm so cheeky. Keep yo bum hand strong!

Climbing Gohyeon stuff

2012-01-15T18:30:00.000-08:00

Samsung shipyards

My apartment is at the tip of the pine

Defensive position

I spent many hours climbing through the hills surrounding Gohyeon this weekend, looking down at the dominoes of stupid. There are some sweet endless ridges going on up there. There's even a Geoje Ridgeline Trail that lets one walk the spine of the island from north to south, should be cool. The earth is a creamy colour here, in contrast with the black of Jeju and the red further north on the mainland. Some decent birds up there, lots of tits.
I'm thinking of buying a chopper, but I test drove one and I all seemed to do is stall the damn thing repeatedly - working the clutch, choke, gears, and foot brake is like rubbing your stomach and patting your head at the same time twice over. I miss Old Whitie, my trusty and simple Forte.

Dzzzzz! You're dead.

2012-01-14T01:10:00.000-08:00

The Brian Jonestown Massacre - The Ballad of Jim Jones/Upgrade my dignity pt.II

2012-01-14T00:56:00.000-08:00

I will kick your fucking face

Anton Newcombe is a rock god, a fucking rock god.
I'm tired as a dog on fire from hiking all day - pictures and blah blahs shortly.
I went to the hospital yesterday to jump through the AIDS/meth addict hoops they make you jump through here. I'm ok admitting that I'm not too manly when it comes to getting blood tests - I get all sweaty and pale. Needles. Then the nurse gave me a dixie cup and marked a line halfway up with a sharpie, indicating the level I was supposed to fill it to. While in the bathroom, I was sorely tempted to fill the cup with semen instead of urine, just to see the look on her face. Sadly, I didn't follow through with my dastardly plot.
Ok, I'm off, there are seven episodes of Boardwalk Empire that ain't gonna watch themselves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEa5ANoKFNQ

Vinous-throated Parrotbill/ball of chubfluff

2012-01-11T19:42:00.000-08:00

This bird is one of the smallest in Korea, and as can be seen, is basically a little ball of fluff. Righteous.

Emmylou Harris & Waylon Jennings - Spanish Johnny

2012-01-11T06:39:00.000-08:00

The White River Bluegrass Band did a better version.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LizSADzKRBI

Beijing airport sucks

2012-01-11T05:29:00.001-08:00

It sincerely and truly does. I was transferring through, and they lost my bag. So of course to go make a claim and try to find the damn thing, I had to clear immigration. I had no Chinese visa. So I lied, pouted, snuck and bullied my way into the Bureaucratic People's Republic of China, without a visa, a feat for which I'm fairly proud. Once in, I brow-beat and yelled at some Chinese guy with enough mock ferocity that my bag miraculously reappeared. Then some drunk and hideous (man-o-lantern) Chinese fuckface harassed me and tugged on my arm in an elevator, an act that almost got his fat face punched in the most old-fashioned of ways. That is why I say Beijing airport sucks, bing bang boom.

Blue City

2012-01-11T05:13:00.000-08:00

Geoje is 'Blue City'. I don't see it. I'm also not sure what the loveable little bean-shaped couple is all about, but every Korean city has to have its own wacky little character. Jelly beans? Clumps of shite? Kidneys maybe.
My throat hurts. It was suspiciously overcast this morning, so I jumped on the yellow dust website as soon as I got back. Fucking yellow dust. I'm fixin' to head to Suncheon this weekend to search for cranes. I'm also fixin' to get a bike soon, but maybe not a scoot this time, a real motorcycle. It'll rattle and clatter like a bucket of nails, and just maybe I'll paint an American flag on the gas tank and kill a hobo in Frisco, for shits n giggles.

Geoje birds

2012-01-09T07:49:00.000-08:00

Coal Tit

Great Tit

Varied Tit

Black-headed Gull

Large-billed Crow +1

Long-billed Plover

Jet-lagged, I woke at 5 a.m.yesterday and walked up a mountain, more of a hill, to watch the sun come up. Seems that's a Korean thing to do. Actually, a non-Korean friend of mine climbed up the tallest mountain in South Korea at night, naked. The wind toyed with his genitals like they were wind chimes. Righteous. So the birds. I was sat up at the top, and a bird wave came and checked me out for a while. Lots of tits. Then a deer came whipping past me at a distance of about three feet, followed closely by a dog. The dog stopped 50 feet beyond me and looked around, having smelled me I guess. Anyways, I had a good walk through some varied and promising habitat. Y'know what? My birding blog is kicking off next week. It'll be extra birdy, with none of the vitriol and perdu-ness of this blog.

A bedding wonderland

2012-01-09T06:50:00.000-08:00

I sleep on that shit. Discuss.

Gohyeon, Geoje-do

2012-01-09T05:24:00.000-08:00

The view from my roof - that's a salt-water canal

The Perkies

Tougher-looking than Jeju cats

It's my new town, on my new island. Took the trip from hell to get here, but what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger...or is it angrier? I'll vent about allla that shite in good time. This town is gonna be great for birds, that I know already - I picked up my first lifer from a moving car on the way back from the airport. There is much to discuss, but I have stew to eat, and un-jet-lagging to do.

514 out

2012-01-04T14:29:00.000-08:00

See you in a bit, 514, it's been a larf!

A creepy-ass bear

2012-01-03T22:11:00.000-08:00

Or is it a creepy ass-bear? Look at it, all muscle-bound and pensive. I'm headed for my last Canadian sleep before I head back to It. Am I fuckin' nuts? Ah well, there should be some cool new birds on my cool new island anyways. And a cool new picture with a cool new mountain and a cool new bike.

London Mayhem

2012-01-03T15:46:00.000-08:00

Reaction to Cougar Candy's moon

I went down to London (Ontario) for a week of mayhem with the old Jeju crew. I stayed at Jeppuh's, he's got five dogs. London feels like a suburby place where you need a car to get to the strip mall. Good seeing all those folks though. I'm about to meet a wholllle new batch in a couple of days. I'm nuts. Oh, we got well and drunk on rye on NYE, and played some heavy Mario Kart. I need to practice.
On the way back I had an hour to kill in Toronto (that's an hour too long in Toronto), and I bumped into this guy Kimeo I know on some side street. I see him once every five years, in the most random of places - the last time I had seen him before this was just before shoving off on my very first bright-eyed Korea trip. He's always happy, and I took meeting him as a good omen.
I will not be grumpy this year, I will not be grumpy this year...

2011-12-28T04:14:00.000-08:00

This guy wants you to have a great new year. Pling!

I like dogs

2011-12-27T21:55:00.000-08:00

Pagan animal slaughter

2011-12-27T13:48:00.000-08:00

A groundhog

BURN!

In paper form, at least. This was for the solstice. You've got to drink, and burn animals on the solstice, it's the only way to do it up right. You don't drink the animals, you drink the alcohol.

Snow

2011-12-27T13:42:00.000-08:00

It's damn snowy in the 514, and fixin' to get snowier.

Birding 'ries

2011-12-27T13:40:00.000-08:00

Heads tilted back for the Chickadee Rapture

Here are Dance and I feeding chickadees back in the day. We had some real snappy ski jackets. I like birds.

Runt hockey

2011-12-27T13:33:00.000-08:00

Runt hockey is the best. I got this one maybe 15 years ago at Radio Shack (remember Radio Shack?), and it still runs. It smells like burning machines and sounds like a Sopwith Camel, but it still runs. I watched a thrilling match between Dance and Rota, which Rota won in the end. "Cup, I win!" is what you yell after winning.
Tomorrow I'm headed down the 401 to stay with Jeppuh and party with a bunch of ex-Jeju expats for New Years. Yaaay!

My kingdom for some Julebryg

2011-12-25T11:29:00.000-08:00

And a less fucked-up 2012, let's hope. Eh?

Krampus!

2011-12-24T14:10:00.000-08:00

These aren't the droids you're looking for...

You're getting an ole fashioned birching, you fat little bastard!

Wave goodbye, you fat little bastards!

Another thing I'll talk about every year is Krampus, the evil, cloven-hooved anti-Santa. He steals bad kids away and whips them with rusty chains and/or bundles of branches. Gotta love those Northern Europeans.

The Pogues & Kirsty McColl - Fairytale of New York...again

2011-12-23T16:47:00.000-08:00

All I want for Christmas is me two front teef

Best Christmas song ever, probably the best song song ever, too. I fondly recall dancing crazily/lazily to this song at 4 a.m. in a nearly-empty Feliz Bar (aka Darts Bar, aka Feilz, aka Ravensgarden), in Seogwipo, last year-ish, or easily the year before that.
Shane MacGowan actually got a new set of working teeth in Spain a couple of years back. Good work, Shane, I'm proud of ya.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwHyuraau4Q

William S. Burroughs - The Junky's Christmas

2011-12-22T22:13:00.000-08:00

Are we to accept these glib lies like a greased and nameless asshole?

One of us in the gang bought Resolute a William S. Burroughs CD for Christmas one year. Maybe it was a tape. Or perhaps a wax cylinder. 'Greased' is pronounced 'Greazed', by the way.
I blew out my legs and feet from excessive walking over the past two days. As I trudged home today, my left little toe, always the rebel, decided to curve under its unsuspecting neighbour and silently slice the shit out of it with a merciless knife-edged toenail. It was a bloody mess, and I knew it. I didn't even want to take off my sock, but I eventually did, and my worst fears were confirmed. A bloody mess. Merry Christmas.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDR9zULPcFk

Chia Obama

2011-12-21T13:47:00.000-08:00

I saw this goofy shit on TV last night, it's actually not a joke. "Your Chia Obama is a symbol of liberty, opportunity, prosperity, and hope."
Really? Really?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCiTAJi1yRk

Jeju randoms, the last perhaps

2011-12-21T13:44:00.000-08:00

Damn teenaged scoot-thieves

Seongsan Ilchulbong

Aka Sunrise Peak

Lice in a crater

Reading on the roof

Ole Double-A-dog poppin off rounds on the roof

My happy place

Yet more lingering randoms of the lovely Jej. I'm headed back to the land of insanity soon. When I get there, I will take pictures of things, and write blog posts about those pictures.
It'll be the bee's knees to be there in such historic times. Historic times!

RUM HAM!

2011-12-19T10:51:00.000-08:00

Slow news day, innit.

The chicken milk

2011-12-18T12:55:00.000-08:00

It's lait de poule! It's lait de poule! Heh, egg nog is called 'chicken milk' in French.
So, Christmas. Last year at Christmas I was curled up in a sweaty, shitty ball with food poisoning. Where was I the year before that? Ah yes, birdwatching at the KAL hotel, then up to Seoul on Boxing Day.
Splash-o!
Sand from a broken hourglass, ticky tick!

Mudhoney - Make it Now

2011-12-18T12:48:00.000-08:00

Piece of Cake is a wicked album. Wicked.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ob0fRPSi26M

A Beck's haiku too

2011-12-16T18:26:00.000-08:00

beck’s with hockey

hot sunny day in a glass

smile in my belly

A Beck's haiku

2011-12-16T13:40:00.000-08:00

beck's brewed in bremen
beck's upgrades my dignity
it's better than poop

The egg nog

2011-12-16T13:31:00.000-08:00

It's egg nog! It's egg nog! Haven't had this shit in three years. Cougar Candy claimed to have found egg nog on Jeju a few years back, but it turns out he was mistaken. It was banana milk.
I'm island-bound again.

Last of Nyawk

2011-12-15T10:53:00.000-08:00

Steammmm!

Uhhhh...

Looks suspiciously like Dance's Citicar

New WTC tower

Here are some random bits and Nyawk bobs. The last of it. My favourite Nyawk icon had to be the steaming sewer. Oh yeah, on the way back into Canada, Dance couldn't find his passport, and was back in the trunk pulling out suitcases and going through underwear and stuff. The immigration woman was not amused, but I think if it happened on the way into Merica, a squad of armoured commandos would have rappelled down and tazed Dance faster than he would have been able to say 'Don't taze me bro!'. His passport turned up under a floor mat. Larf!

Bleu blanc rouge et noir

2011-12-12T13:27:00.000-08:00

Have a ball

I'm all black n blue from playing street hockey. Everything hurts. I regret nothing. Ever, actually.
I'm now officially sick of 'gluten-free'. Ohh, but is it gluten-free? Fuck you.
In other news, I saw a Pileated Woodpecker near Westmount Park, and I sold my soul to the devil once more.

Mille Bornes n the sno

2011-12-12T13:10:00.000-08:00

It's the shit! Best card game ever. Tipsy snowball fights on the way back, through the backlanes/urinals of NDG, classic.

Oot and aboot in Brooklyn

2011-12-09T13:36:00.000-08:00

Oot

Sweet

Yuppie play area

Yuppies

Some other band

Luff lady, not at all impressed by yours truly

Quiet Loudly

Another lifetime ago, a month, the gang went down to Brooklyn to hang out with Humdinger, after getting tipsy at an Irish pub near ground zero. I fell in love with a beer called Narragansett. Love! We checked out this CD launch in a basement club - CD!?. The band doing the launching was called Luff, and they were ok, but kinda sounded like a rehash of the droning 90's girlband thing.
The band that opened for them, Quiet Loudly, was fucking awesome. A dizzy mess of Wurlitzer heroics and falsetto. Dance and I looked at each other after their set was done and we both felt like we'd seen one of 'those' shows, like seeing The Beatles at the Cavern Club or something. They were dynamic and clever, and you'll hear about them in 2012. I got a terrible video of them.
The third band was also a droning, walls of distortion-type band, and I was too drunk to care about them at that point. Sweet sweet Narragansett. Oh, the bar upstairs had a bacci-ball play area for yuppies. Do people still say 'yuppie'? We ended up bar-hopping after the show, and I remember trying to talk to the hot and tattooed guitarist lady from Luff at some other bar. After I sauntered over and spoke my piece, she glared at me as crickets chirped and tumbleweeds drifted by. I held up my finger as if I had remembered something, or was about to shout 'Eureka!', then turned around and walked away. Later, some kid tripped me on purpose, and I questioned him about it.

Steve Turner - Summertime

2011-12-06T13:29:00.001-08:00

Steve Turner is a filthy wizard.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_7ECcAyGhs

Grafeets

2011-12-06T13:19:00.000-08:00

Stunning yet pricey

Godart

Whimsical

Somewhat neat

Kinda cool

Old school

Witty

Fucking ugly and rude

Equally ugly, and equally rude

Hey, let's make our neighbourhood look like crap! Yeah, let's!

The worst

My hood, NDG (No Damn Good), is shitty with graffiti. God, I sound like an old man. But it's true. You roll off the highway onto Sherbrooke street, and all you see is shitty graffiti. I don't actually mind 'cool' graffiti - stuff that is artistic, and done somewhere that isn't on someone's house or business, which is the norm in NDG. The 15 year-old private school kids putting shit-squiggles all over is bogus. Whatevs.
The first pic is a pretty impressive piece recently completed down the street. It's called 'Our Lady of Grace'. I'm not sure if it was 27,000$ impressive, but I guess that's what giant murals go for these days. The other pics amused me, and the last four are shit. So there you go, if you're gonna do graffiti, make sure I like it.

Squirrel-henge

2011-12-06T13:01:00.000-08:00

Squirrels of the corn

Another henge! These fat and dopey squirrels were going to town on some newly fallen leaves, and they creeped me out. They were standing in a henge formation, all dazed out. A henge! A henge! A henge made of rodents!
In other newses, I'm giving serious thought to starting another blog, solely devoted to birds, leaving this one to deal with pictures of food, signs I find amusing, and self-centred rants.

Post-birding eats

2011-12-04T16:19:00.000-08:00

We ended up in St-Jean-sur-Richelieu in another attempt to find the Greylag Goose, unsuccessfully. I always find the South Shore and thereabouts to be a depressing, ominous place. Miserable-looking people stand hunched at bus stops in the middle of nowhere. Anyways, we ate a very late breakfast at this redonkulous egg place, a real rib-sticker meal. I don't feel like I'll ever hungry again. There was most definitely enough food on each plate to feed the average Asian family for a few days. I'm the 1%! I'm the 1%!

The cemetary itself

2011-12-04T16:12:00.000-08:00

The Mount Royal Cemetary is a decent place to wander around, I zoned out a few times on all the old school graves and whatnot. I'm tired.

Squire-els

2011-12-04T16:00:00.000-08:00

Ahhh, sweet sweet grave water

The Darth Vader of squirrels

I have a green face

I can't help it, it's already been done

Please go away

This one squirrel had a green face, and I was like 'Yo! You gots a green face!', and it was all 'Nooooo!'

Birds, others

2011-12-04T15:53:00.000-08:00

Barred Owl, booyeah!

Black-capped Chickadee

Brown Creeper, creeping

American Crow, suicide?

Downy Woodpecker

Hermit Thrush

House Finch, female (and White-Breasted Nuthatch ass)

House Finch, male

Northern Cardinal

Northern Goshawk

Northern Goshawk, almost

Northern Flicker, almost

Northern Mockingbird (we thought it was the Solitaire at first)

Red-tailed Hawk

Here are a few pics of some of the other birds we met along the way. The Barred Owl was exciting, it was in a park, and it looked all sleepy and grumpy, like me. There were plenty of owl-snack sized-squirrels nearby, all fat, happy, and delicious.

The wondifulous quest for the Townsend’s Solitaire!

2011-12-04T15:31:00.000-08:00

Nerds, birds, and the dead

Easily amused

I spent the last two days in a cemetery, with a man called Dance. We were looking for a small grey bird, the evocatively named Townsend’s Solitaire. They usually hang around the Rockies, but this one was hopelessly lost. We spent Saturday morning and afternoon wandering among the tombstones along with a dozen other twitchers, with no luck.

Today we returned even earlier. I hate mornings. So we drifted aimlessly among the dead, again, in face-freezing weather. We split up to cover more ground, and I ended up zoning out and reading tombstones up in the hills, having completely forgotten about birds. Suddenly my phone rang, and it was a dude named Gilles, who I had absent-mindedly given my phone number to earlier. He found the Solitaire. I sprinted down the hill and got lost real bad, but I eventually hooked back up with Dance, and we soon found a flock of birders gawking up at a tree. The Solitaire was singing away in relatively plain sight, and then it came down and posed for us. Good twitch, yo.

Looking at the pics, it looks almost exactly like an Asian Brown Flycatcher from the shoulders up. I guess birds are in fact shoulderless. Wing-shoulders?

Nyawk statues and whatnottery

2011-12-01T12:19:00.000-08:00

Sparrow!

Here's a whole shit-ton of Nyawk statues and whatnottery.
In other news, decisions have been made.
In yet other news, I'm thinking of opening up a gluten-only restaurant, where folks tired of being told what to do sip delicious 100% gluten shakes, and eat sweet sweet gluten powder with big spoons.
Also, I used to love second-hand clothes, I mean I practically lived at church sales and thrift stores. I've outgrown that I think, and it happened probably 10 years ago. I had this sweet shirt, but then I scratch-and-sniffed the armpit, and there was New Year's Eve 1979, all over again, in my nose.

Nyawk antics, the second

2011-11-28T13:56:00.000-08:00

Dance with tanuki. (Good name for a slow, black and white film)

He's a stoker! No, he's a thatcher!

The infamous 'wall-slam'.

A classic pose, missing only Hamish.

E-dog, in fine E-dog form.

We spotted some neat critter-sign dealies in Japan-town, and on closer inspection, I think the first one is a tanuki, a mythical Japanese badger with big balls that goes around impregnating peasant girls. I'm actually reading a book about tanukis right now. I love bugging E-dog about his wacky hairdon'ts, at least he didn't have the front and back all gelled down, like last time. Yikes. We found some Triple X and played charades one night in the Safari Room, a la 19th century. "I say, he's a chimney sweep!" Why is the text all centred like this? I don't really care.

Ah ouai les boys!

2011-11-28T13:45:00.000-08:00

Et le but!

Peeeeeee Kaaaaay!

Ca-reee! Ca-reee!

I went to a Habs game a few weeks ago with some good folks, two of which I met on Jeju - Zims, and The Neevstress. The Habs killed Carolina 4-0, and I predicted PK would get a goal, and he did, his first. Fuckin' rights, boys! Here's a little vid of PK and Price doing the ol triple-low-five dealy.

Hobbit House, West Jeju

2011-11-28T13:03:00.000-08:00

And there is a small tribe of hobbits that lives on Jeju, I've seen them around, usually from the corner of my eye. Should I go back? Not sure. Right on the fence.
I saw Drive yesterday, and I was a bit let down. I was hoping for a bit more substance. It's all style, silence, no dialogue, and Ryan Gosling acting like he's so cool he can punch out God. It's nuts though, the positive reviews for this movie online seethe about how people that don't get like it are common simpletons who should stick to Fast & Furious type movies. Fucking movie snobs. The director was also responsible for Valhalla Rising, a supremely flaccid viking flic, which again was notable for 40 minute stretches of silence, and the main character being all cool and moody. Geez, I guess I just 'don't get it'.
Anyways, Drive was a wet squib. I followed it up with a re-watching of Bad Santa. Yaaay! Yaaay! "Why don't you wish in one hand, and shit in the other. See which one fills up first." Speaking of Fast & Furious, I hate to say it, but...Tokyo Drift? C'mon, Tokyo Drift!

Said snow

2011-11-24T12:04:00.000-08:00

Sweet pecker holes!

Slide it while you still can

Ouch

Slushhh

Needly crystals

Frosty NDG

It felt good to trudge around in the snow. It sure did. I'm no environmental determinist, but I think real winters help imbue a people with some grit to their character, how can they not? Wow, I must have a fever or some shit, to be rambling suchly. I ended up in King George Park yesterday, and I shoulda brought my sled, because 'they' hadn't put up the ridiculous fences that slice up the hill yet, preventing sledders from going more than 20 feet at a time. When I was a kid, you could go from the tennis courts all the way down to Cote St Antoine, I tells ya. Who's with me? Occupy King George Park!
I've got tons more Nyawk stuff to put up, but I can't be arsed.

Seasons, innit!

2011-11-24T11:46:00.000-08:00

We got a nice sheet of snow yesterday. It'll be gone in a day or two, cuz that's how it goes. I have a cold. Chicken noodle soup time. Here's the view across the street, since August.

Jeppuh, of the Hill People!

2011-11-24T11:30:00.000-08:00

3...2...1...

It's an ass-towel fight!

And I got owned.

Charming and hungover at the pheasant place.

One of numerous epic Jeju City nights.

"See how I cheat at NHL '05?", he's saying.

I wish I knew.

Cake mates.

Just got off the horn with Jeppuh, who recently got back from two weeks of living with Kenyan hill people in elephant-shit huts. Sounds like he had an awesome time. He saw kids drinking milk from the teat of a goat! That's pretty wicked. We made plans to meet up to pop bottles for Auld Lang Syne, and beyond. Here are a few more of our Jeju antics. Antics! Antics! Get it brah!

The fat man's pillow

2011-11-22T16:17:00.000-08:00

'Uhnm! Unhm unhnm!', said the fat man at the theatre.

After a hard day's birding, we ate at a classy joint in Chambly called 'P'tit Quebec'. Dance got the biggest and heaviest mufucken' poutine ever. I dubbed it...THE FAT MAN'S PILLOW. Dance tried gamefully, but could only eat the first five pounds of it before meekly requesting a doggy lid.

The stupendous hunt for the fabulous Fulvous Whistling Duck

2011-11-22T16:13:00.000-08:00

Chambly Basin

Geese

The plane! The plane!

Welcome to birding in Canada.

Birding in Korea was juuust like this.

Fulvous Whistling Duck

Fulvous and friends

Canada Goose

Snow Goose (one with a broken wing?)

Mallard

Hooded Merganser (2 males, with varying degrees of crest erection, tee hee)

Dun-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh, the HUNT! So Dance and I headed out east to search for some rare birds that were recently spotted in a reservoir there. A European Greylag Goose, clearly lost or attention-starved, was bringing in twitchy birders from all around Canada and Merica to the Chambly Basin for the better part of a week, but it was nowhere to be found today. We did spot a distant Great Cormorant (my old friend from Korea), rare this far inland.

The real money bird was the Fulvous Whistling Duck, extreeeemely rare this far north. We found it northeast of Chambly, in Otterburn Park. Here’s where it got surreal. We trudged into a frozen swamp to get a better view, and spotted it on a log, its head down, napping. I was staring through the viewfinder of The Beast for about 15 minutes, waiting for it raise its selfish beak, arms quivering. A rumbling train got its little fulvous head to pop up for a couple of seconds, and I got the picture. When I looked around, I was fairly shocked to find that we were no longer alone in the swamp. We were surrounded by a phalanx of about 15 birders crouched behind an imposing array of optics and fancy shoulder harnesses. What the? I kind of wondered why they didn’t have anything better to do on a Tuesday afternoon, but then I realized that they were me, sort of. That kind of bird paparazzi crew feels strange to me – I pretty much had an entire sub-tropical Korean island to myself for 2.5 years, scooting around on old-school Tintin birdventures, all fancy-free and alone.

After we got a good look, we headed back to the parking lot, and as soon as we got there, the noisy mob flushed the Fulvous and Mallards it was rolling with, and they flew a few hundred feet over, right in front of where we were standing. Click. We watched the mob shoulder their tripods and slog back towards us, and The Duck. Wacky. Oh, we saw a Bald Eagle, and I kept calling it a ‘Wild Eagle, 100%’, in a manic Sopranos voice, and it was funny to us.

On other fronts, the plot(ting) thickens.

Nyawk street food

2011-11-21T16:00:00.000-08:00

Ahgatchafuckenhotdawgriteheeeeyah!

Messy, so messy, and good to put in my mouth. And bigger than E-dog's headface.

Staten Island Ferry Jamaican patty...yes, it was perfect.

Freshly squozened OJ and a chicken calabrese, in the outside.

Ate lots n lots of it. Cooling down here in Montropol. Good, that's how it should be, cold. Dance and I are headed on a birdventure in the morn to look for a rare duck, cormorant, and goose. We'll see how that shit turns out.

Nyawk signs, the third

2011-11-20T13:30:00.000-08:00

The St-U

2011-11-18T13:16:00.000-08:00

Nice view of the faaaaallll fooooliaage.

What's that on my right shoulder? The St. Urban.

While in Nyawk, we were lucky enough to stay at a crazynice apertment, the St. Urban. We never ran into Kevin Bacon, but he lives there. Good view of the park. I like turtles!
I was hoping desperately to use three phrases in genuine conversation while in Nyawk. I got to use the first two: 'Oh! I'm walkin' here!'. and 'Fughetaboutit!', but never found the right occasion to use 'Whoa! Relax there honey!'. I imagined I'd get a drink thrown in my face by some dame right after saying that. Or right before.