Won Cashing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flA6bD_OzJA

When this commercial first came out, it was the bane of my very existence, and I would hurt myself in my haste to get to the remote. Suddenly, one day, I realized that it was the best commercial ever made. I can sing it, and dance it too. I've been in this country way too damn long.
So some Korean asshole yells and shouts at Cobain and I in the gym today, telling us to shut up (we were having a little chat). I yell back at him, turn the TV volume up to the max, and give him the old stinkeye. He left in a feminine huff, and bitched us out to the whole naked locker room. When we later hit the naked locker room, the mafia-tattooed proprietor of a local screen-golf establishment gave us high-fives and invited us to partake in a free round of screen golf. I guess everyone thinks the guy's an asshole.
Oh, the other day I was finished my meal and bored, so I started shooting spitballs at Cobain with a straw. Back in my schoolboy days, I was a spitball expert (I was also a crack dirt-clod whipper). I would hollow out Sharpies and cut the ends off, which made for a spitball blowpipe that was both accurate as well as camouflaged. Anyways, so I rock a spitball off the side of Cobain's face, but this particular spitball was a bit light on the spit, therefore bouncier than your average spitball. It ricocheted of his face and ZING! landed right in this Korean woman's rat's nest. Both the woman and her friend noticed the incident, but were like "Don't look at them, just pretend it didn't happen." I was crapping my pants and biting my lip so hard it bled. Yes. I am very immature. Yes. But it's what keeps me going. Life is a big joke folks! Yuk it up! Hyuk! ZING!