BJFEZ

Insert Turkish brothel joke here:__________________________________________________________________________.

Hey BRITNEY!

Child seats work best when your child is in the seat, and not flailing in your lap. Retard.

More weekend stuff

There was also a car show

And it was surreal. The surgically-enhanced racing girls feigned happiness as they caressed cars and slowly rotated on raised platforms.

More weekend

On Sunday morning at about 6:30 a.m., I found myself biking around Ilsan on a newly found bike, singing. The bike was short one pedal, and had no air in the tires. I weaved down the empty purple streets, trying to feed McMuffins to multiple passed out Korean men. No takers.

Seoul Shenanigans

What do you do when you basically have no vacation time, and you're profoundly in debt to 5 different institutions and /or individuals, with no chance of getting out of debt in the foreseeable future? Fly to Seoul for 36 hours of unadulterated mayhem (and lots of unwise spending of money). My brain hurts. More gossip soon. Sleep.

Happy Smile, Happy Work

If you say so.

Comin down the mountain

I've been taking rambling morning scoot drives lately (although not this yellow-dusted week, ouch my eyes). Once you get off the main roads, there are labyrinths of little back roads to get lost on. My second favorite places to explore (after coastal roads) are the foothills south of Mount Halla. The higher you get, the worse the 'roads' get, and the clearer Halla becomes. There's a gorgeous spot where the good road ends, right by an old horse stable thing. Just thought I'd let you know.
Been a long bloody dramatic week. Very long.

Best trucktor of all

I'm gonna write a Beach Boys-style song about this venerable grandaddy of all trucktors.

More trucktors

Hooters Plaza

At nearby Jungmun, there's a place called Hooters Plaza. Only thing is, there's no actual Hooters restaurant there. Apparently the Hooters developers bought the plaza with plans to build a centerpiece Hooters-to-end-all-Hooters. Then the money must have dried up, because they never built the restaurant. That didn't stop them from leaving the Hooters Plaza sign up.
They've also got a 'Believe it or not! Coffee' place. Believe it or not, I might try it out one day for shits and giggles.
Ever get the feeling you're sleepwalking through life?

Korea's most politically incorrect playlist

Jeju's most wanted

1. The Midnight Screamer
2. The Playboy Killer
9. The Soju Slasher
12. Kim the Ripper
17. The Black Widow
19. The Butcher of Seogwipo

Boy band nausea

The latest Korean boy band that is making me ill is called Kotboda Namja ("Boys over Flowers", how sickeningly appropriate). There are little stickers and little trading cards of these little heroes everywhere, even, apparently, jammed in between the body panels of a suitably effeminate little Korea car. Maybe there's nothing wrong with an entire nation being wrapped up in the mindless mass worship of a group of androgynous pixie corporate douches. Maybe I've taken too many Advil Cold & Sinus today. Maybe these guys are weak little punks. Maybe I could fight them all and win (in the fighting style of their choice, at the same time or one at a time). Maybe I should go to bed.

Oranges and fish

Together at last!

Future Weapons

FUTURE WEAPONS ROCKS NATIONS, THANK YOU DISCOVERY CHANNEL ASIA FOR BRINGING IT BACK.

War Ride 1

The Jeju Soggies Motorcycle Club held our first war ride this morning. Out to Jungmun and back. We put our colors on for the first time - grey urban camo. I hit 120km bombing down a big hill - rock n roll freak out! I pulled up to Optimus at a light, and we looked at each other, grinning like idiots. "Being in a scooter gang rocks", said Optimus. "Yes it does", I said, as the light turned green. We revved our little engines, and sped into a hail of cherry blossom petals, sunshine, and crisp wind, carpe-ing the hell out of the diem.