Harfang Perdu

Saturday, 3 November 2018

The Fantastic Fable of Ballscheeks

After a heated argument with the local shaman the night before, Ballscheeks awoke and discovered his cheeks had sprouted mighty testes bags. The villagers all mocked his newfound appendages, and called him horrible names, like ‘Ballscheeks,’ ‘Nutface,’ ‘Asshole,’ and ‘Testicle-guy.’

Ballscheeks ran from the village, but the Devil himself found him, and yanked on one of his nutsacks so hard that both plums ended up in the same pouch. ‘Oof!’ cried Ballscheeks.

Ballscheeks ran crying from the Devil, and took shelter in a crappy old house, where he fretted himself into a slumber. “Oh shit,” he yelped as he woke. “The Devil has found me anew, and he brought along his asshole demon buddies!”

The Devil and his asshole demon buddies beat the shit out of Ballscheeks with horrible spiky clubs until he expired in a cloud of red mist and a tangle of shredded ballsack.

FIN

The Blog

What’s happening? I blinked and I’m back in Korea, blogging like it’s 2009. Due to popular demand, no less! Heedong is in it for memories. Resolute likes my rants, so I’ll try to keep the bitterness close to the heaaaaaart, ha. May be less rants, and less “Lost in Translation” style wide-eyed wonderment, as, at a certain age, you shed the highs and lows. I swing neither as angry or as naïvely enamoured of late. One day at a time, food is just future poo, and who needs friends, and all that. So don’t expect veiled references to waygook drama or graphic fantasy scenarios about slaying hideous man-o-lantern neighbours with a longbow this time around. They’ll be plenty of silly signs though, to be sure. Let’s roll.