Lil buzzed at The Office

Cobain and I call this perfect harborside bar 'The Office', so we had to baptize tyrann-e - after a Zinger, of course. A shit-ton of important bitching and plotting gets done here. Annnd, there's been plenty of both lately. I've whined about this many a time before, but I'll say it again: what a small fucking island of high schoolness. Lordy oh lordy. Let me tell you who has been spotted canoodling with so-and-so, so read carefully:

Lil bowls

I took tyrann-e to the best lil resto in town. For a few bucks, you get a lil bit of everything. Damn, it's good, and we ate it in 48 seconds. The fish had lil teeth, and the denjang jiggae is the best soup of life. By the way, tyrann-e used to work for a BP emergency response team a few years back, and had a few interesting things to say on that subject.

Lil typhoon

So Tropical Storm Dianmu is bearing down on Jeju. I'm psyched, should be fun. Tons of sting-ing Gump rain and wind on the way. I'm gonna climb the mast of a viking ship and shriek at the storm. "Is this the best you've got?!", I'll scream, then I'll be struck down by lighting, and many will rejoice.

Lil bit stupid

Ajumma visors! Get yours today! Look like a Darth Vader of retardedness! ORIGINAL QUILITY! Healthy beauty! God, I'm burned right the hell out. Eff.
In other news, congrats on the marriage, Resolute!

Lil pin

Blaow! We make like 500 of these pins back in the day, and gave them away in about 2 weeks - mostly to girls in bars, to impress them, with little or no success. Hair! Rock!

Lil chaos

tyrann-e is in town from Daejeon, and it's been chaos so far. A lamp-smashing, soju-swilling, beach re-hopping time so far. Lord help us all. That's a pump for filling up an air mattress by the way, piss off.

Lil more porky

While on the subject of eating our hoofed porcine friends, I'll have to mention this stuff. My birding buddy has taken me to a few of these little restos in the middle of nowhere that serve insanely tasty, tender, and quivering pork. Holy shit is it good. The local Jeju pigs used to be called, more or less, 'shit pigs'. This was because in the past (hopefully), the locals built their pig pens directly below their outhouses, killing both the sanitation and livestock feed 'birds' with one decidedly cringe-worthy stone. Chincha mashita!

Lil porky

'The Newpaper Place' is a famous local pork delivery-system that's in the regular rotation. If greasy, crispy pork melts your butter, go to The Newspaper Place. Jackals are fine-looking mammals. Cobain and I were gonna go squid-fishing on Sunday, but the thought of fucking with countless stinking bait shrimp (used to catch small fish, which in turn bait the squid hooks), and the overpowering lazy impulse to drink beer on the beach meant that I did exactly the latter. I'm glad I did. Haven't been birding in a while, as it's nesting season, and my feathered quarry are all drab, mute, and easily disturbed. September and the Summumn migration season will be here quickly enough.
Big things in the wind, rumbles.

Lil bigger mural

I've just committed a zany computer gaffe - I accidentally sent my recycle bin to the recycle bin, and now it's gone.
I miss what Mulder and Scully had. I once wrote an awful song that started "If I was a little older, you know that I would like to, be your Mulder!"
Actually, that particular song started like this "I know how funny, this may seem, but I saw you jogging, naked in my dreams..."

Lil mural

Lil Seogwipo

I do love Sog, don't get me wrong, she's just tiny sometimes. Jeez, I haven't seen my sweet sweet Mount Halla in waaaay too long. I'm all out of Pawn Stars, I don't know what to do in life. I suppose I could always read a book. Yes, I'll read a book instead, it's what I'll do.
By the way, Cobain and I were gonna go to North Korea in September, but that's fallen through. We were booked for a week-long tour with a Chinese tour company, and were crazy excited to check out the mass games from a private booth next to Kim Jong Il's, lay wreaths at the Kim Il Sung memorial, sheepishly visit the USS Pueblo, and all that other great North Korean jazz. Now we're not, because the Chinese tour company thought we were made out of money, and kept upping the price, all sneaky-like. We told them to fuck right off. Then we were gonna settle on a Tibet trip, but that too fell through. Maybe I'll just sit on the beach and read books for a week. Yes, I'll read books instead, it's what I'll do.

Lil Eiffel (Pixies - Alec Eiffel)

Feelin' wacky at the moment. Goofy like. Light-headed. Keeping low doesn't make no sense!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xf20Effo6ds

Pioneer of aerodynamics
(little eiffel, little eiffel)
they thought he was real smart alec
(little eiffel, little eiffel)
he thought big they called it a phallic
(little eiffel, little eiffel)
they didn't know he was panoramic
little eiffel stands in the archway
(little eiffel, little eiffel)
keeping low doesn't make no sense
sometimes people can be oh so dense
they didn't want it but he built it anyway
(little eiffel, little eiffel)
little eiffel stands in the archway
(little eiffel, little eiffel)
keeping low don't make sense
keeping low doesn't make no-sense
(little eiffel, little eiffel)
little eiffel stands in the archway
oh alexander i see you beneath
the archway of aerodynamics.

Lil Atlas

Another weekend spent on the beach. Way too many tourists, but a beach is always a beach. Oh, I just learned this from watching Pawn Stars: Salvador Dali had a pathological fear of grasshoppers.

Bibimbap/Nomura Jellyfish

I won't start gushing about bibimbap, as it's such a first-year thing to do. People would gasp and say "Ohmigod! He's like so first-year!" But it is our preferred post-snorkeling grub. Being a bit salty, some XXX Vitamin Water (extreeeeeme!) goes well with it, and we usually wash it down with a Hershey's Roasted Almond Veil, while sitting around in front of Family Mart, making fun of people as they walk by. I'm just sayin'. Speaking of snorkeling, a surfer buddy today informed me that the dreaded Nomura Jellyfish are back in Jeju's waters. I'm gonna punch one in the face. It'll go "SMACK!" (P.S. I didn't take that picture of the jellyfish, someone else did)

Death From Above 1979 - Blood On Our Hands

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEtBcEo7rK0

Premium Nuts Class

What a sack of nuts. I've finished writing 2/3 of a book. It's gonna be a runaway bestseller for sure. It is, however, filled with so many graphic and detailed accounts of shenanigans and antics that I'll have to come up with a creative pen name, to protect the guilty. Lat Toll? Rat Loll? Spat Troll? I'll come up with one. I'm bloated. Too much cheese, crackers, pickles, and whatnottery. Nuts.
My terrible sense of humor has offended many more than one person in the past, especially in conversational situations. That kinda makes me laugh, because I know that my humor is 30 years ahead of its time. At least that's what I tell folks when they look like they would love to smack the face off my head. Zing.

Seasick Steve - Last Po'man

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohM4ov6LiG4

The Fish

Man oh man, when I got to Oedulgae the other day, the boys were trying to catch the mother of all fish in a tidal pool and release it back into the ocean at large (before the salivating Koreans could slice it up and eat it with red pepper paste-'Knife go in, guts come out!'). This beast was over three feet long and awesome to look at. The pics don't do it justice, the thing was insanely and electrically blue. Not sure about the exact name, but I suspect it's from the Amberjack/Kingfish Seriola family. Was crafty too, took 'em a while to catch it.

Rainbeach

Another weekend spent on the beach. Saturday's session ended when the thunderheads dropped onto our heads in a hurry. We took off, but still got rainihilated on the drive back. 100% soaked to the bone. This led us to scream and honk and let out crazed rebel yells and Al Quaeda 'alalalalas' all the way back to Sog, to the concern of the Koreans whizzing past, who gawked at us like we had two heads apiece. It's hard to hate on Jeju at this time of year. It's even feeling a lot less high schooly as well - there's a solid crew of real people on the south side right now. Been watching 'Pawn Stars', it's crazy good.

Oedulgae

Another favorite spot. This is where the snorkeling usually goes down. Pronounced 'way-dull-gay'. Nork submarine spies shot it out with local cops and military here in the late 60's.