Thursday, 29 September 2011

Other tasteless crashout poses



In no particular order.

To plank or no

  I'm still on the fence (wink) about planking, but here's one anyway.  On the weak end as far as planking goes, but I was sober (mostly), and I have a strange feeling most plankers aren't.  Anyways, it felt good, so I may do it again.  But probably not.

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Sando, but good

  I grew fat in uni from eating too many club sandos. That and all the beer, I guess.  I've had one since I've been back, but I may have to eat one tomorrow.  Riveting.  I...I...I.
  I often sit on the front porch and read at about the same time every day.  A couple of times every week, I see this woman walk by, with a half cantaloupe in her hands.  She's got this smug/blissful look on her face as she walks up the street, tearing rodent-like into the cantaloupe with a white plastic spoon, smiling and sighing like she's floating on rainbows as she eats it.  For some reason, every time I witness this I just wanna run up to her, smack the cantaloupe out of her hands, and stomp on it good.  I'd probably be screaming something while I did this, but I'm not sure what.  I imagine I'd just think of something on the spot.

creature creations™

...yeah, here it is, dustier and crappier than most.  I found this ad in a Secrets of Haunted House comic from April of 1978.  "Meet the funniest, craziest,  most gruesome family of creatures to arrive from outer space", the ad begs.  It gets more tragic: "These 8 1/2" x 11" posters feature the first of these creatures to fly this side of the galazy.  There are more coming, so start collecting NOW! Each poster is printed in full color (TRUE COLORS NOT SHOWN), and is ideal for framing."
  This is very funny to me.  First off, the drawings suck hard.  Most fifth grade kids can scratch better shit onto the front of a binder with the pointy end of a geometry compass.  Here's what happened - Some stoners got together, and one of them drew one of these masterpieces.  His buddy was like "Whooooooa!  Far out maan!", so they pooled their meager savings of 300$ or whatever, put this ad in Secrets of Haunted House, and waited for the bucks to just fuckin' come a'rollin' right in.  No one bought any, I'm thinking.  Screw it, I'm sending them 5$ for the whole set, and I'll frame the bastards.

Video games from the fuuuuuture!

  I was flicking through a dusty old set of Encyclopedias, and while looking through 'V', I stumbled across entries for 'VIDEO GAMES' and 'VIDEO RECORDING' that made me smirk.  But don't laugh too hard, for these books used to be my Google.  Back when I was young, we didn't even have opposable thumbs yet.  I remember playing a fishing game on my ol Commodore 64 that required the user to 'Press play on tape' and type in a bunch of bullshit before it would run.
  "Sail a clipper ship across the to distant for ancient buried a sleek racing car...gamble millions on the stock market...These are a few of the adventures available to players of video games."
  Now let's see if there is there is some more old crap laying around that I can take pictures of and remember/discuss, in lieu of adventures...

Stephen Malkmus and The Jicks - Senator

  I saw these guys last weekend.  Good times!  Rock.  Reminded me of the time I saw Pavement.  Dance's fave part was the foxy bassist lady.  Hey lady!
  I've been throwing more darts into maps.  Then, I take the darts out and throw them back in, vainly trying to see where they stick.  Where will they stick?  Stick, damn you!
  I recalled a wondrously embarrassing story I was going to regale dozens with, but it has since slipped my mind.  My memory's gone out the winduh, like in the Sonic Youth song.

Monday, 26 September 2011

Old show poster

I was proud of this one back in the day because it took me forever to do the lettering.  As was usually the case, the poster was significantly better than the show itself.  We were called 'The Montreal Fantasy' for this show, and no others.  Yawn, not much else to report.  No pictures of pizza to put up.  I could take pictures of myself reading every day, and then people could chronicle my progress through the book, as I blaze through the pages, like a bolt of lightning.

Friday, 23 September 2011

Oedolgae ries

  I've talked about it before, but Oedolgae is a pretty damn nice spot in Seogwipo.  Some of my best Soggy memories involve scooting out there on a sunny morning to go snorkeling and/or fishing (never with an illegal spear of course), or just chillin'.  The goodest of times, yessir.
  Georgia's always on my my my my my my my my my mind.

Thursday, 22 September 2011

INMYBUM (a Korean-juma-frizzbop-mageddon)

Dug this gem up from the ol Jeju days, you're welcome.  I blame it on lack of sleep, probably.

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Go Habs, No!

Sadly, that's 22$ worth of beer right there...

Get it brah!


It's Youppi!  There he is!
  I went to the Habs pre-season home-opener last night with Mr.Vatek.  The Habs got whipped 6-3 by Dallas, but it was still fun.  What could be funner than 11$ beer and hot-dog cannons?  We drank whiskey before the game, and that too was fun.  Right?
  I've been busy.  Busy planning, that is.  Plotting, scheming, conspiring, all that.  When September ends, so does nothing.  Nothing ends.  Wait, that sounds wrong.  Nothingness ends.  No, that's not it either.  Doing nothing ends.  Better.  Nothing is good too, though.  But too much nothing leads to more nothing.  I'm confused/confusing.  Futtock.  Only one.
  Holy crap, last year at this time I was somewhere in Cambodia with Cobain, most likely giggling like a ninny.

Tuesday, 20 September 2011


What's grosser than gross?  Has to be this.

Hilarious!  Rebellious!  Irreverent!  Dumb-tastic!
I'm almost speechless over this eight-patty mountain of so bad.  Definitely why the rest of the world hates (North) America.  But good 90's band name.

Sunday, 18 September 2011

Dif skies

  The other day I heard some guy in a car yell "FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!" at another motorist.  It was so perfect, I very nearly wept, and it put a smile on my face for the rest of the day.  Thank you, angry guy in car.

Saturday, 17 September 2011


Just found this one.  It's some of the Jej-crew I rolled with.  Good folks, them.  Everyone's being a foolish goof, as was the tradition.  Especially Bluts and Neevs.  But, Jeju rant coming soon, also.  Also.  Too.  And.  Oh, I've changed my tune - apparently TV is no good.  Futtocks.


  Some people who choose to avoid cable TV are like pushy fad vegetarians from the mid-90's.  It's like 'Shut the hell up, I don't care if you don't have the cable, and I don't feel guilty about having cable!'  So there.  I don't know what people do without The Discovery Channel.  Or MASH.  Am I really bitter, or do I just have a shitty sense of humor?  Couldn't tell you.  I read books all day, but then what?  Play charades and guzzle laudanum by the murky oil-light?  You can't play RISK every day.  I won this game, by the way - I was green, and those extra two armies for Australia every turn tipped the scales.  I'm number one!  That's the rant for now, but wait for the hipster rant, it'll be epic.  Coming soon!  I'm number one!  I'm number one!  I'm an ass and I'm going to hell, and I bet there's no cable down there.  Just Korean game shows, all day, every day.

Friday, 16 September 2011

Hangin with Hum n Dance

Hum n Dance

When 50 was 200

  Last month I hung with the Willingdon crew, good times.  Hum Dinger is always happy-go-lucky and cheery, in spite of having a shitty rough run of luck lately.  Jet lag was still heavy in my head as I received a popehat and we made 50 change into 150, then into 450.  I used to love hanging out on the plateau, but now, not so much.  Damn hipsters.  Yeah, I'm about to rant about hipsters.  Tomorrow.  Maybe it's that I don't love hanging out anywhere.  Feeling hermetic, but she'll be roight mate, only start worrying when I begin hoarding thousands of cans of tuna and bottles of water.  2012!  2012!  Y2K!  That rust is starting to feel WD40.  Futtocks!

Thursday, 15 September 2011

I... made of rust, looking around nervously, like anyone does.


Ok, so it's only a pre-season game, but I got a mate's rates deal, and I'm psyched nonetheless.  Yaaaaay!  Yaaaaay!

Tuesday, 13 September 2011

Father Abraham in Smurfland - Smurfing Beer

He's gonna have a huge smurfover tomorrow...
  I own two copies of this LP.  How's that for wacky, huh?  Zany!  I wore through the first one as a lad.  I always wondered what beer was, but understood that it was awesome, because the Smurfs condoned its use.  Thanks a lot, Smurfs.  I mean it.  I never questioned the unsettling sight of Father Abraham, a hatted and bodyless old Dutch wizard, looming over the horizon behind the oblivious Smurfband.  Run!  Dance and I are toying with the idea of covering it.  Wait, one person dislikes the song on YouTube?  That's unpossible.  Must be Gargamel.  Oh yeah, if you slow the record down as it's playing, the Smurfs sound like...Father Abraham.  But...that's impossible, because the Smurfs did it.  Not him.  The Smurfs.
  I'm covered in Vick's Vaporub, and my sinuses hate me.  Can't breathe.  Unnngh.
  Big clashes on Jeju over the massive 'eco-friendly' naval base they will build in scenic Gangjeong, in spite of massive local disapproval for the idiotic plan.  'They'.  Jungmun beach won't be quite as relaxing and charming when locals have to share it with 4,000 American seamen on shore leave.  Futtocks.

Monday, 12 September 2011

Bruce Springsteen - 57 Channels and Nothing on

Just don't forget it's there...

Near rodent misses


Life is like a rodent in many ways.  I can't think of how, at the moment, but I'm sure there are dozens of apt rodent/life parallels.  Dozens, if not more.

Saturday, 10 September 2011

It's Jimmy Jowls, star of stage and screen!

I'm Jimmy-fuckin-Jowls!  Wink!
Wow, did I mention that I had a cold?  This must be proof of my increasing and medically-worrisome fevered state.  Don't tell anyone.  Shhhhhhh!  I don't caew!  Zoom in!  Zoom in!  Futtocks!

Arbo critters

Black-capped Chickadee

Turkey Vulture

Common Garter Snake

Northern Green Frog, pre-prod

Northern Green Frog getting prodded, gently

American Red Squirrel

Eastern Chipmunk
Went for some birdin' at the arbo with Dance.  We went too late to see too many great birds, but we saw a few good critters nonetheless.  The frogs were lethargic, so I poked one and it didn't move.  Then I made Dance poke one.  Everything was being chubby and fluffy.  I'm getting a cold.  Night.  Oh!  I'm gonna buy some Nyquil tomorrow.  I totally forgot about Nyquil.  I just may hafta drink that shit til I can't feel my wips.