Wednesday, 29 December 2010


Gonna head to the mainland for a few days.  Bliorg.

Monday, 27 December 2010

Mini-bliz in Sog/Solid stool

Snowing everywhere in the world it seems.  Yesterday I woke up a human again, and not a wretched creature that lives on the toilet.  And groans and grunts to itself all day.  Yuk.  Lost a few pounds though, always makin' lemonade.  Shaved the Decembeard, wasn't a hard choice after straining puke through it a few times.  So I ventured out of my stuffy hovel yesterday into an awesome little Seogwipo blizzard along my favorite backroads.  My lips numbed.  It was good.  Still not 100%.  I had a revelation while fevered and sweaty under my blankets for 3 days - when you're hallucinating heavily, anything that's on tv seems pretty good.  Funny stories are surely soon to come, stay tuned.  Love those logs.  Splash!

Saturday, 25 December 2010

All I want for Christmas is solid stool

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, I got food poisoning and have been feeble and bed-ridden for two days.  Ho ho ho!

Wednesday, 22 December 2010

I like turtles

I love this more than I love life.
It's perfect.

Lunch with the nuns

Took a lil walk this morn with some buds, around the nearby Hanon Crater.  It's the largest shallow crater in Asia.  Checked out a temple, and the nuns wouldn't let us leave until we sat down and ate with them.  Sweet.  They even gave the dog a Buddha bone.  The pup tried to eat a flat Pale Thrush.  I brought carrots for the horse with dreads, but it wasn't around.  I swore I saw a pack of badgers, but they turned out not to be badgers at all. Also saw a PSP fence.

Just livin' the dream

Flat Pale Thrush

You get SPRUNG!

More PSP

Healthy yet bland

Crater pic from rice-y green summer.  Yellow stubble now.
  I'm shaving the beard tonight, I'm so fucking over it.

Lunar eclipse

Caught the tail-end of it.  My camera is not a fan of the moon.  Ate so much meat that there's meat in my veins.

Monday, 20 December 2010

Krampus gon' getcha

No Martha, he has to learn not to be such a little shit.  Merry Christmas son!

Christmas demons, how very German.


It's my hooooooves!

Gimme that fuckin' fruit, kid!
Krampus is the evil and long-tongued anti-Santa popular in several bleak yet efficient Central European countries.  He follows old Saint Nick around and harasses the bad kids, and I guess flogs them with branches or whatever.  I really really like that.  I also really really like the look of unbridled delight on Dad's face as Krampus busts through the door.  Take that, ya lil bastards!  No Christmas for you!  Ha!

Sunday, 19 December 2010

The Avett Brothers - I and Love and You

Get it brah!
I know, I know, shut up about those Avett Brothers.  I won't.

Hashy McSmilerton

Ho ho!

Ballz/Droppin' trou

My foot and knee hurt.  Bruised from my unorthodox bowling delivery.  I swing the ball a few times while lurching towards the pins, one big swing, and then I do a strange underhand/sidearm backspin dealy while simultaneously smashing the top of my right foot and knee down to the floor.  Had some people giggling, especially the robot-armed Koreans who handed us our asses.  I was actually in decent form for not having played in 3 years (tootin' my own horn as usual, beep beep!), with an average of 145 and a high of 165.  The fact that the tournament started at 9:30 am didn't stop us devils from crafting bowling rat-juice from blue Powerade and soju, which is like vodka served on the rocks, and by rocks I mean crack rocks.  We didn't win.  My foot bruise is actually quite nice to look at.
Always a good pose

Good ol' Robot-hands McGee



You'll say hi to Krampus for me, ya?
  Oh, on Saturday night a friend of mine had so much of the creature that he took off his shirt at a bar and repeatedly dropped his pants...and drawers.  I kept having to run over and pull them up.  Hilarity!  That's how we do it up on Jeju!  The stunned/unimpressed/hateful/disgusted looks on the faces of the barstaff were so perfect, I wanted to cry.

Friday, 17 December 2010

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

I Can't Believe It's Not Gutter

Getcher balls a'rollin!
Gonna do a lil bowlin' in a tournament on Saturday. This pic is from way back in Taiwan, when myself and a rowdy pack of day-seizing South Africans commandeered a bowling alley.  These cats brought a garbage can (!) filled with Sangria to the alley, and we played an insane couples n' costumes tournament, complete with wacky rules and Elvis sideburns.  My team was called "The SanXuLiu Stray Dogs".  The Taiwanese accepted what we were doing with a shrug and a smile, whereas Koreans would have shit the bed and taken it as a nationalistic affront to all that is pure and Korean.  That was many failed follicles ago in a misty past that is confusing to me.
  My Decembeard is turning into a thick pelt, good for revolting Koreans and keeping my face warm.  Feeling grinchy today.  The fuck you starin' at?!

SPAM = Comfort food?

"Serves 1...tragic bachelor."

It is for older Koreans.  I guess it was the only meat they could get during and probably after the war, so it holds a place in older K-hearts.  I've only eaten SPAM once in my life.  Well, to be fair, it wasn't SPAM, it was KAM, a knockoff.  I ate it in Holland at the age of 19, and it gave me brown-laser-beam-itis.  I think the guy in the campground stall next to mine also ate the KAM, judging from the repeated 'splash-unroll-wince' sound effects I heard on that awful day.
  But yeah, those wacky Koreans go apeshit for the cubed meat biproduct, and during the holidays you can find massive SPAM gift-sets everywhere.  More class.  It's all elbows and armpits.
  I should talk though, because for an unknown reason, I came home today and discovered that I had purchased 2 jazzy little 'SPAM singles'.  Is this rock bottom?  I may or may not eat them, but I'm not sure how.  There are all kinds of awkward and disconcerting slogans on the packaging, like 'For your smile.', 'It's so quick and easy!  Just rip your way to SPAM taste!', and on the back 'A solid line would say "No!  Do not cross!"  But this one is dotted.  Feel free to enter.'  My favorite just says 'YO!'

Monday, 13 December 2010

Pale Thrush

My first graffiti

Baddass, dude!  Add more flourish!  No, more!
Ok, I didn't do this, but if I was a confused and rebellious 13 year-old Korean kid, I sure would have.  Sexy.
  I've decided to grow a winterbeard.

Market goodies

Sunday, 12 December 2010

Have a pig face

Hell, treat yourself - have two.