Thursday, 29 April 2010

The MC5 - Kick out the jams

Get your Friday night started properly, with Brother Wayne Kramer and the boys.

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

He's a curlew-stealing wizard

Sung to the tune of "He's a lane-changing wizard!", an impromptu cheer invented by tyrann-E-Saurus over a year ago in Ilsan, on car show weekend. Y'see, we, along with B-dawgz, waved down this cab, and as he was pulling in, these rude-ass Koreans jumped down from the curb and tried to get in ahead of us, certain the cabbie would be in on the 'fuck foreigners' vibe. He wasn't. He swerved to avoid them, barely, and cursed them out properly on the way by. With us aboard, drunk from the car show, he proceeded to zing and graaah his way through traffic with retarded grace. This elicited a spontaneous and joyful "He's a lane-changing wizard!" from tyrann, at which point we all shit our pants laughing, for at least 3 blocks. High on life, we were.
Since then, the simple sing-song melody of this anthem has been used to enliven many otherwise mundane moments. The format is "He's a _____-_____ wizard!". Or, alternately, "He's a ____-_____ bastard!". Lately, I've been pushing the boundaries of syllabic phrasing, by busting out "He's a _____-______ bastard-wizard!". I try. On my last trip to Daejeon, we had to impose a temporary ban on the chant, as I was over-using it, therefore burning out the awesomeness of it.
So a few posts ago I mentioned that Cobain got a sweet Far Eastern Curlew, and that I was gonna scoot out early to check it out on Tuesday. Yesterday was Tuesday, and I indeed scooted out to the west coast to twitch the curlew. It was a yellow-dusty kinda day, but having woken up early and geared up, I was in no mood to abort, so I went ahead and scooted, bemasked. I love that southwest coast.
Anyhow, as soon as I got the coast where the curlew was spotted on the weekend, I knew I was screwed. The tide was all the way in, and as everyone knows, the preferred habitat of curlews is 'mudflats and estuaries'. Crap. When a birder twitches and misses, it's called dipping. I dipped on the curlew. So, when I saw Cobain later in the day, he got a "He's a curlew-stealing wizard!" out of me. Here are some pics of crap I saw. I hope I've made sense here. Tree-cocks!

Fruit & Blood Type

Geez. I don't even have anything clever to say here.

Tuesday, 27 April 2010


Something else I haven't done much of in a year is bitch about yellow dust from China. Today we hit orange levels in Sog, which pushed my grumpiness into the red. One taken in March, and the other taken today. What have you done with my mountain? Yellow dust, you piss me off.

Trucktor revisited

I haven't gushed about my favorite improvised and uniquely Jeju farm vehicle for over a year. Once again, I give you...the TRUCKTOR!

Till I die!

Monday, 26 April 2010

Yo-yo weather

Come on, really? Sunny, heavy rain, sunny, heavy rain, sunny. Welcome to Jeju.
So Cobain did a solo-circumnav on the weekend, while I bowed out due to social obligations. The bastard ended up picking up a Far Eastern Curlew north of Moseulpo - a bird I need. So I'm headed out there tomorrow bright and early like, to hopefully get it. If I don't, I'll surely slit his throat.

Sunday, 25 April 2010

Clothesline antics

Very creative, old Korean ladies, very creative. Note the kimchi urns that sit on every good Korean's roof. P.S. Life is good, and short, so go do shit.

Buddhist/shaman guy

This old guy was performing an offering ritual of some kind, in the shadow of shiny new apartments. I'm guessing his home used to be there, until it was taken from him and replaced with a gravelly lot, and he's checking to see if his family's ghosts are doing ok. It was neat.

My scoot

Is a thing of beauty. It goes fast when it's just sitting there, and all that. I just got new tires for her, and other bits and bobs. My front and rear turn-signals finally indicate the same direction, too, which is always good. I enjoy scooting. I Scoot.
This time of year, I start to see a peculiar breed on the Jeju roads - the organ donor. Organ donors are young Koreans on rented scooters. They ride around, usually in pairs, on pitifully underpowered and effeminate little 50cc jobbies. They wobble along major highways going 50, hazards blinking, in the breakdown lane. I like to whiz past them and give them mean looks. Graaah!
There's an even funnier breed on 2 wheels - the jagoff. There must be some kind of package deal thing going on, because every weekend a new group of 40-something mainland dads take a trip down to Jeju, get outfitted in comical tasseled Hell's Angels gear, and tool around on rented saddle-bag-laden Harleys. Funny shit.
Oh, and today I smashed a door into my face, but thankfully I was wearing a helmet at the time. Also, gin is bad.

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

The Refused - New Noise

Have an other. Graaah!

Seogwipo is pretty in the sun

And in the rain too I guess, but less so. Rain makes the plants happy, so why hate on the rain? I need a vacation. I like old-fashionedy names like Sprague Cleghorn. Screw names like Cody and Zach. We need more solid old schoolio names like Cecil Nightwagon.

Politically incorrect trinkets

I've seen way worse. Political correctness doesn't exist in Korea, which is a breath of fresh air most of the time, but sometimes it's like whaaaaa?

...And you will know us by the trail of dead - Isis Unveiled

This, is how I'm feeling today. Edgy, vague, screamy, profane, noisy, pointless, and ultimately forgettable.

Neko Case - Maybe Sparrow

This is a good song, I appreciate the bird subject matter, and it reminds me of someone I know, but, it's not how I feel today. That's not a Korean sparrow by the way. It's a New World sparrow.

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Sonic Youth - Rain King

Listen to it on 11.

Speaking of Buddhist monks, I have a funny story about a Buddhist nun I once caught practicing pickup lines. Flashwayback to '05 (a year of bushy tails and bright eyes). I was in Gimpo, walking home at 7 a.m. one fine morning, and I found myself 20 feet behind a diminutive Buddhist nun. My legs being longer, I quickly overtook her. I'm a silent padding creeper, so she didn't hear my approach. As I came up alongside her, I heard her saying something over and over. "Ah!" I thought, "She's practicing a prayer of some kind. I feel like I'm in 'Lost in Translation' or something!" Then I heard what she was repeatedly saying. "What kind of music do you like? I would like to meet you." In English. Oops, busted. She was mortified as I walked by. Weird, dude.

John Denver - Thank God I'm a Country Boy

I fiddle when I can, work when I should.
I'm intrigued that someone in French Polynesia visited the lost owl.


I'm good at it. I sit on the roof in the sun, and zone. Lately, not so sunny, and been monosyllabic. Eunh.

Return of the Jebi

Barn Swallows are called 'jebi' in Korea. They mean that summer's on the way. I enjoy sitting next to my secret stream (yes, I just wrote that), watching the zipping jebis and zoning the hell out. They're blur fast. Would make a good tattoo. I again feel like screaming from rooftoops, for reasons and for no reason. What else?

Monday, 19 April 2010

Narcissus Flycatcher

Real orange-y. Had a sweet weekend, showing a friend from the mainland around my humble and over-touristed island. Super rainy these days, make it end. Balls. Their hideout was destroyed by missiles.

Thursday, 15 April 2010

He-Bee Gee-Bees

I was strolling along care-free the other day, tra-la-la-la-dee-dum, when to my horror I did a 360 and realized I was surrounded by these menacing little bastards. Shoo, ya little bastards! Scary thing is, if bees disappear, so do we. Look it up. Y'know, these may be wasps, not bees. Little 8-bit-Megaman-face thoraxed bastards.

Against animal stench

Another band name, I imagine they would wear skinny jeans. Life is good, folks, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Ashy Minivet

This guy isn't a lifer (was last year), but still rocks. It's one I'd always wanted to see, and after years of looking at a picture in a book, I instantly knew what it was when I first saw it. They only stay on Jeju for a few days, on their way north. Also, cool name.
I'm reading 'The Sex Lives of Cannibals', a book about a writer who flees to the remote Pacific island of Kiribati to hide out from credit card and student loans debt, and tries to write a book that is not writing itself. I can relate. The sequel, 'Getting Stoned with Savages' is also a good read.
What else? Dunno. Feel full of rants, but they're just rattling (ranttling?) around right now. Spring weather has been a bit shitty so far. Rant.

Monday, 12 April 2010

Blue-and-White Flycatcher

I know what you're thinking - that CAN'T be a Blue-and-White Flycatcher, right? I know, I know. The black lores yet almost complete lack of black on the breast and face point to something crazy, like a Pale Blue Flycatcher. Look closer, and you'll realize it is in fact a Blue-and-White Flycatcher, but of the rarer cumatilis subspecies. Let this be an important life lesson to all of you. Geez, life is nuts, innit? Gonna wake up super early and have a snoop round the foothills for storm-blown rarities. Yes I will.

L7 - Shitlist

Holy shit! Remember this?! L7 was my very favorite band in high school, apart from Mudhoney. Once, when they played the Rialto Theatre, lead singer Donita Sparks jumped into the crowd, and I ran over her. For my efforts I got one of her steel-toed 14-holes to the face, chipping one of my teeth, which remains chipped to this very day. It was awesome. My first band, 'Lint', learned every L7 song, partly because they're simple songs, but mostly because they're awesome.
'Smell the Magic' remains one of my favorite albums, and is also the best t-shirt I've ever owned (google it). 'Bricks are Heavy' was also a solid album. Screw it, here's 'Fast and Frightening' too. Pay attention to the lyrics - how they and those rolled Rs confused and piqued a certain pimply teen's imagination...


Fast and Frightening

Sunday, 11 April 2010

Wolf Parade - I'll Believe in Anything

Rock it out, bruvas!

Chelly Brossoms-uh

The video was supposed to show a magical scoot-ride through a blizzard of cherry-blossom petals. It doesn't though, the quality sucks.

It's raining, I'm consuming European beer and mixed nuts of unknown origin, and Braveheart is on tv - life is pretty good. The 'Heart! I'm lucky I'm so easily amused.

Daelim everthing

Should I be concerned that my scooter, kitchen fixtures, and toilet are all made by the same corporation? Should I be concerned that Daelim also produces apartments, chemical refineries, and paper clips? I would be if I was in the real world, but in Korea, massive corporations like Hyundai, Daewoo, LG, Samsung, and Daelim (called chaebols) make everything. Everything. I say pick one thing and do it well. Not dissing my scoot, but I sometimes wonder why the kick-stand is a toilet flusher and the throttle is actually a door-knob.

Flowers are not manly

And yet I found myself frolicking through fields of the bastards today, in my vain search for a Plumbeous Redstart. Was a good time, meandering though fields and across questionable bridges. Incidentally, the yellow ones (rapeseed flowers) are edible. A bit peckish from having skipped breakfast this morning, I found myself eating handfuls of them. Tastes kinda like celery, and is quite filling actually. I finished off my bush-tucker buffet with some crazy brown rugby ball-shaped tree berries. I hope I don't end up dead in a bus in the Alaskan wilderness.

Black-winged Stilt

I love it when birds look like cartoon characters. This is Dr. Stilts McGillicutty, a jittery antiques dealer from Belfast.

Saturday, 10 April 2010

Zitting Cisticola

Nothing rhymes with it. I feel epic rants coming on soon, BRACE! BRACE! BRACE!

The Raveonettes - Love in a Trashcan

Here's some musical junk food. I enjoy junk food. Maybe this is more like yogurt with fruit at the bottom. Can't be sure at this moment.

Citrine Wagtail

This little yellow pimp hasn't been seen on Jeju since 1999. Amazing technicolor dreamfeathers. Good lifer. If you haven't yet seen the South Park episode "Eek, a Penis!", you should, it is funny.

Meadow Bunting

Been busy. Migration season. Now sleep.