Saturday, 23 February 2013

Same same

  Still got it.

Bouncin' the Dee

  Went up to the arbo today with Dance to do a little birding.  We hand-fed some chickadees but when the seeds ran out, I decided to bounce the dee.  Bouncin' the Dee! Bouncin' the Dee!

Mourning Dove

Wednesday, 20 February 2013


   This picture just about sums up my week.  Owls!  Owls!  "Glimmers of the insanity that eventually consumed him were evident in his eyes."  Resolute will get that one.  Navarre!  Navarre!  My balls!  My balls!  Siberia!  Hmmm.  Nice pair of hooters, eh.
  One time, a long time ago, this cute girl came up to me on the bus and asked me "What time is it?" but I think she knew what time it was at, if you know what I mean.  Me, being an idiot, I couldn't resist replying "Time to get a watch."  She looked puzzled and dismayed, and shuffled off, while I went 'ZING!' in my head.

Tuesday, 19 February 2013


Well said, wall, well said.

Friday, 15 February 2013

Jeju mems

B-Mil and I at Geck's, Red Rock in hand.  Couldn't tell you why I never smile in pictures.
Glorious Seogwipo from my roof.  Best roof ever.
  I just came across a stash of old Jeju pics someone gave me a lifetime ago.  I started to take pics of them, but got every so lazy.  The pics are blurry, as good memories ought to be.

Please don't head-bag yourself

Please don't head-bag your toddler

Last food pic

  The first Korean phrase I learned was 'Please don't put corn on my pizza.'  With few exceptions, Korean pizza is hyper-crap.  A Double Pizza veg slice however, is not crap.  Look how many glorious olives are on that beast.  Olives really polarize people - there's no halfway with olives.  I think that taking pics of food is dumb, so I'ma stop.
  Yep, Siberia for a month or two.  I'm gonna do it.  Why the fuck not.

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Fun with nuns n monks

  Oh here's a funny one.  Near Point aux Prairies the other day Dance and I passed a monastery called something like 'Reclusive Monastery' in French.  We used the parking lot to pull a u-e, and I just happened to be attempting to leech wifi off Dance's phone when I noticed a 'Reclusive Monastery' wifi network pop up.  "Yeah sure I'll become a monk.  Vow of chastity?  Sure.  Isolation?  No problem, where do I sign up?  Oh, do you have wifi?"

  Check out my hilarious tales of brushes with Korean monks and nuns:

My buddy the monk

Monks that piss in caves

The flirty nun

Generous midget nun

Lunch with the nuns

Eat and shit, shit and eat

  That's what I do.  I also take pictures of food that I eat and talk about it.  For instance, I ate a slice of veggie from Double Pizza as I walked down DeMaisonneuve today.  The only way to eat a slice of veggie from Double Pizza.  Guess what?  I took a picture of it.  Oh, I'll put it up here soon.
  Here's a picture of a massive club I got after some birding with Dance.  The thing was a monster, and it put the hurt on me.  Halfway through, my eyes were glazing over, and I looked around nervously, knowing I couldn't finish it.  Should I get a doggie bag?  No, that's weak.  Do I leave it?  No, the starving Chinese kids.  Fuck it, I just closed my eyes and powered through, and I spent the rest of the evening groaning and drifting in and out of consciousness.  It's my right, no, my duty, as a red-blooded North American to behave in such a manner.  I also drank a can of Coke, because a can of Coke is the best.
  In other news, I'm putting serious thought into heading to Siberia for the summer.

Friday, 8 February 2013

The boards are up

Shoot!  Eh?

Good ole park hockey.  I used to head to this rink at 3 a.m. to slap some pucks around for a couple hours when I was in uni writing all-night essays.  Go Habs go, colis!


Even the cars around here sport those dumb ‘shaved-on-the-side, toothpaste-swoop-on-top’ hipster haircuts.  I should talk though, I used to sport plenty of dumb haircuts back in the dizzay, when I wore a younger man’s shoes.


It’s snowing balls in NDG.  I like that too.  Snow!  Play in some today!

Le Slush

the dreaded slush lake
mini slush canyons

sliding hunks of falling-off-cars slush
light grey new slush
Slush!  I do like it.  There are many different variations to be found:  Sliding hunks of falling-off-cars slush; light grey new slush, slush canyons, and the dreaded slush lake.  Slush!  Step in some today!

Thursday, 7 February 2013

The quiet and cold white woods in the snow and with the birds and the shhhhhh!

The cold white woods and Mr. Fox

Fox highway
The glorious cold white north
Best birding strategy - sit and wait


Testing a log over thin ice
Mr. Fox
Common Raven (Bronk!)
Livin' the frozen snot dream
White-breasted Nuthatch
  I stunned Yossarian when I 'pished' in a flock of Chickadees and Nuthatches.  Pishhh pishhh peeeesh peeshhhhh peeeesh peeee!

Out in the woods

The mixin of the stuff
Sweet sweet moonboot slippers
Passing out in style
Les Boys, colis
Yossarian +1
  I stayed up at Yossarian's house in the woods up north for a day.  Always fun.  He's all set up, and like I said last time, as long as the Ant and the Grasshopper envy each other's choices just enough, everything works out in the end.  Wings vs. roots.
  There was some decent birding/foxing in the cold cold valleys of Saint-Jerome, jammin, imbibing, cookin (I made Korean kimchi bastard cakes, cuz I'm so painfully wordly), and I fell asleep in his luxe basement mini-theatre again, haha.
  In other news, scribbling down plans B through Z with glazed-over eyes.

Sillysignsfood Yossarian


Sunday, 3 February 2013

Clogged arterial goodness

  I polished off this nasty Quebecois mess after some solid winter birding (check the bird blog) with Dance, at a place called Miami way east near the Big Owe.  Good lord and sucre tabarnac[sic] it was good. Fresh juice and a pot of coffee they leave on the table no less.  Hey hey!  Lookit me!  I take pictures of my food before eating it!  Then I talk about how good it was on the internet!  Fuckin weak, brah.


  That would make a great band name for a band that has three folks that stand in the back and do nothing but jangle bells, snap, clap and whistle and go "Oooh!' and 'Hey!' together.  Inevitably, there would be a xylophone in the band, and super hot lady on bass.  In the span of a year, they'd make the scene in their own town, play SXSW and maybe Craig Ferguson, become dickheads, and splinter into two side-projects and several bearded Luddite recluses with integrity.