Saturday, 28 September 2013


A few days ago I got ole Elsie the Cow up to 120 down a long hill.  I was like 'Yeaaahhh!' in my helmet.  I'm easily amused.  Also, I discovered that between normal headlights and highbeams, if I toggle the switch gently, there's a middle setting where both headlights are on at the same time.  It's fucking awesome.  Not sure if this is meant to happen, or if I hacked it.  Again - easily amused.  I love that damn bike.
  I'm listening to a lot of Cure, Smiths, and Bright Eyes these days.  Uh oh.

Candycane Moth

Ultra-rare Candycane moth.  No, I just made that up.  Looks like a Zissou thingy.

Food and fart

The other day I found myself dipping cashews in cream cheese.  I've either sunk to a brand new low, or I'm 10-15 years ahead of my time.
  I made sauerkraut soup last night, it's the bomb.  In related news, today I was standing near the window, and I farted very loudly.  Then a baby started crying.


  Sometimes I don't eat horses.
  I fucking hate when people write 'Nom nom nom!'

Sunday, 22 September 2013

Hey look, there's me!

Looks just like me.

Peace Museum, in the middle of nowhere

Creepy empty theatre

North Korean rocket from the 2010 Yeonpyeong attack
Makes my head look taller and balder than it is, but only by a bit.
Hey camon!  Let's cave going!

Island of Peace!  Cool!  Buuuut, then let's build a massive naval base.  Oops.

Yeah there's a hefty fuckin' fee
  I felt the need to clear my head, so I drove around the back roads of Jeju (for like five days).  Yesterday in the course of my ramblings I came across this Peace Museum, which was located on the smallest of back roads in the literal middle of nowhere.
  I woke the guy up and he decided to be my personal tourgiude (he didn't have much else going on).  It was kinda creepy watching a poorly-translated propaganda film in a huge empty hall.  Then there were some Japanese tunnels and some other random stuff piled in a room in rusty display cases.  The museum that time forgot.  Almost as cool as the abandonned Nork semi-sub display Cobain and I stumbled across on our epic  long-day-round Dolsan Island (off Yeosu) on our lil 50cc whips:

And how about this guy?

I saw this guy on the streets of City at like 9am.  Do what you want to, sleep when you're tired.  Beck said that.

Naked soapy guy in the river

Ain't no thang!
  Then there was the time I saw a Korean guy having a nice leisurely naked scrubdown in a river in a downtown park.  Zoinks!



Oh, I was in a volleyball tournament last weekend.  It was rainy and fun, then I was sore.  The end.

The centipede incident

 The other day I caught some movement on the wall with my peripheral vision and saw one of those sick hairy indoor centipede guys creeping around on the wall.  I quickly snatched up my trusty can of K-Raid in one hand and my trusty fly-swatter in the other.  As I approached, it bolted, zipping around on the walls at warp speed.  I don't remember doing it, but I dropped the death-dealing implements I had been holding and picked up a book and flung it at the wall in one deft movement.  The book hit the centipede with such force they both fluttered to the ground in pieces.
  Now, I know all I did was kill a bug, but I'm fairly proud of the killshot I delivered.  I had to throw the book ahead of the centipede, much as the pilot of an F-86 leading a Mig-15 with his hail of .50 calibre death would do.  Thanks, Chuck Yeager flight simulator from the early 90's.  It's the man, not the machine!
  The book, incidentally was Jupiter's Travels, by Ted Simon.  Resolute e-mailed Ted Simon a couple of years ago and he sent back a nice reply.

Dak-Kuksu AKA awesome chicken noodle soup


  I've ranted and raved about how awesome dak-kuksu and kogi-kuksu (pork noodle soup) are many times in the past, but not lately.  This is where I took E-dog for his last Jeju meal.  My old wall tag from like three years ago was still there, and E-dog added his own.  I forget the whole story now, but I think the Japanese introduced this type of noodle to Jeju, and the Koreans put their own spicy twist on it or whatever.

E-dog leftovers


Bacon cheese bagel sando at an amazing new cafe
Low tide island
"They groaned from a shower of bullets..."

The fun police have barred access to the Japanese Kamikaze caves.  Lame.
The amazing 'beef in a cup' restaurant
E-dog pretending to know how to ride.  In reality, we were nuts-to-butts the whole way round the island.
  So I've revealed all of E-dog's gaffes, I guess it's fair I reveal one of my own.  I met E-dog at the airport (with a bag full of bus-drinks on ice of course), and as he was loading his bag under the bus, I got on and headed towards some free seats at the back.  I was carrying a bottle of water, and somehow, and I'm still not sure how this happened, but it kinda popped open and water went all over some people.  I guess the cap just caught on a seat or something, and it flipped upside down, and most of it went all over the laps of two Korean guys that were sitting on the aisle.  We were all pretty surprised, and I kind of stammered 'Uhhh, stupid bottle!  The bottle!  Stupid bottle!' and made my way to the back.
  E-dog got on and as I was telling him all about the crazy bottle incident, the guy whose crotch caught most of the water came stomping over to me, all bent out of shape.  He stuck his finger in my face and yelled 'Hey!  You!  Towel?!  You towel?!', pointing to his wet zipper area.  'No man, I don't usually carry towels around,' was my sassy answer.  He got off the bus in a huff.  E-dog and I cracked beers and talked loudly for the whole bus ride, because that's how we roll.  It's what waygooks are expected to do, so why let folks down?

Stuff, signs

Carbonated coffee.  NO.

Sexy old school Hallasan soju bottle.

Chocolate Bar
I love the old school Hallasan soju bottles.  Reminds me of the time Cobain and I toured the Hallasan brewery because his car broke down nearby and we had hours to kill.  Ahhh, the good old days.
Soju factory shenanigans from another era (click and scroll down)

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Choppin up sharks at the market


As you do.  This was a couple of weeks ago northside, how am I so behind?  Time is meaningless here.  And/or relative.  Heh.  So at this market I watched this Korean guy select a backscratcher, stick it under his shirt and leisurely scratch his back for almost a minute.  He then looked at it like it wasn't quite the one he had been looking for, and put it back.  Sadly I've been here long enough that it didn't phase me in the least.  That's how we roll out here.



From like three weekends ago when E-dog was here, I'm a bit behind on the times.  So here are two more boneheaded things he did.  He was carrying a beer-laden tray out of the buying area (it must have a part?) of TP, and he clips this baby in the head with the edge of the tray.  It didn't cry, but that's because I'm pretty sure he caught it on a fontanelle and rendered it instantly brain-dead.  I swear I saw those little eyes cross.  Haha, great stuff.
  Then a bit later he asked me where the pisser was.  I pointed to the door and told him you have to knock twice and wait for an answering knock to see if anyone is already in there.  For some reason, he started knocking on a bare wall a few feet over from the bathroom, his hands probing around for a secret handle.  Eeeeee-dog!  It was funny, but you kinda had to be there.