Thursday, 20 March 2014


  Cats eat birds, but I still like them.
  Korea is a nation of zombies.  Jombies.  I'm amazed that the entire Korean population isn't wiped out daily, in an endless series of walking-into-traffic-while-on-their-phones accidents.

Mara weekend


Oriental Plover
Streaked Shearwater
I went to Mara-do (as far south as you can get in Korea) last weekend on Saturday...and Sunday.  Because I'm a nerd.  And there are birds there.  I spent 3 years searching for an Oriental Plover with my Korean  birding buddy last time round, and I almost tripped over two as I got off the ferry.  Booyeah.  Gorgeous sexy rare bird.  I dream of birds these days.  Trying to see as many as I can before I leave Korea in two months.  I'm leaving for good (again).  Guess I'll go back tomorrow.  I just have to work on my conclusion-jumping when it comes to birds.

Dr. Nuts

If you are what you eat (and drink), then I'm an awful person.  I didn't eat any Dr. Nuts, I'm just saying in general.

Smashed shit-tickets

A roll of shit-tickets ended up in a puddle in a parking lot.  Even worse, a truck ran it over.  Bad day for those shit-tickets, we can all learn something from this story.

Yellow dust

Yellow dust from China wahwahhhhhhhhhh.

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

All dog, all the time


The Beast is in need of a wash.  I may have mentioned this, but he smells like french fries, and I like it.  He leaves muddy paw prints on the bed, and I like it.  The only thing I don't like is when he pisses on the bunched-up mosquito net.  Try cleaning that up with a smile.  A few days ago he put a mummified mouse in his mouse, and crunched it.  I'm still on the fence about whether I like that.

White poop midden

The other night I woke up with a brilliant notion.  I fumbled for my phone's recorder app thingy and recorded my thoughts, then went back to sleep.  I just checked it now, and it reads " is a baker in the small town in the mountains what does he know about submarines"
  I'm intrigued, and also a bit concerned.

Accuweather lied


Last weekend, Accuweather fucked me.  On the promise of minor drizzle, I went up to Jeju City to check the parks for early migrants, but all I found was Forrest Gump rain.  When my binoculars were dripping wet and useless, I thought to myself 'I'm not having fun anymore,' so I went to E-mart and bought mojitos in a can then went back south.  Jeju City is dumb anyway.  And stupid.


I just love everything about the packaging for this tire repair kit.  Especially the miniature Trabant wooshing through the bike tire.  Now lets see if it works on boots.


Get it brah!

Monday, 10 March 2014

Dumbest looking dog ever

I know, let's build a naval base on Jeju!
One more before I check out and watch some True Detective (that shit is legit).  Met this weird little shitdog in Geolmae today.  It was so stupid-looking my jaw hit the floor.  Check it.  It was acting stupid too, like rolling and squirming around like a...stupid dog.

Worst WD-40 rip-off ever

Yeahhhhh, no thanks, nice try.  Y'see they're trying to fool everyone into believing that this shit is like 20 better than WD-40, but I didn't fall off the kimchi-truck yesterday.
  I'm really fiesty today.


 It's a fact - 9/10 Koreans are terrified of this dog.  Not a little scared of.  TERRIFIED.  I kinda want to get a Pitbull and train it to snap at fear, then stroll round town giving out free lessons in 'Scary dog for real.'
  Ok, except for the super cute toddler who came up to The Beast with wide eyes, bowed deeply, and tried to respectfully shake his hand.  I guess when a dog is the same size as you it's best to greet it formally.

Worst Guard-dog ever

Are Koreans noisy?  Let's just put it this way - you are in no danger of having a Korean sneak up on you.  Heh.  At least on the trails.  Korean hikers sport these little clip-on walkman-sized radio-trail-blarers.  You can hear that shit for miles.  Who wants to be alone in the woods and just listen to...nothing, right?  So best to envelop yourself in an abrasive aural bubble, innit.
  Now, if your radio is broken or you lost it/smashed it while on Tuesday afternoon soju bender, then there are other options.  Like screaming into your phone in spite of the obvious fact that you have no reception.  Yobosayo?  YobosaYO?  Yobosay...YobosaYO!?  YOBOSAYO?  If you do that all the fucking way up and down the mountain, then you don't have to listen to all that insipid nothing.

Monday, 3 March 2014

A fire in Seogwipo


Then this one time there was a fire in Seogwipo.  I followed the smoke.  Folks milled around.  A shed smouldered.  The crowd dispersed.  'Nothing to see here,' they thought quietly to themselves, as they walked away and carried on with their punchclock lives.

All dogventurez all the time


  The Beast is the best.  I take him birding and since he doesn't care about birds, the birds actually ignore him.  Never so much as a Magpie's Chuk-chuk-chuk or a Bulbul's Skweeeeeeem.  His mum ain't bad neevah, innit.


One time I went crazy

Then one time we dogsat another dog
Wee and skwee
Since the Beast and I are on our own for a bit, I've neglected to wash him.  He smells pretty bad, but I like it.
  Last night he dropped a big ol deuce on a school field, and as I was bending down to pick it up (lest small children fall on the feces and cry) he unleashed a lightning-quick flurry of shit-kicks.  Broken dogshit loglets went cartwheeling to all points of the compass, and then he looked up at me and smiled.  What a huge little bastard.