Wednesday, 30 March 2011
And they're not to be trifled with either - a friend of mine (who happened to be illegally spearfishing) was bombarded with rocks by a crew of pissed-off Haenyo. He wisely withdrew. I've seen them freedive for about 2 minutes at a time. This one was hooking for Octopi under the rocks. See them now, before they're gone.
Monday, 28 March 2011
Also, 1,000th post. I'm high-fiving myself, but really I shouldn't. I probably should've jumped ship 500 posts or so ago. One fine day soon, the winds of migration will help to dislodge a stagnating owl's ass-anchor. Adrift to always greener grass. Away from the land of the world's biggest inferiority/superiority complex ('We're the best in the world, but everyone's attacking us, and we make such great whiny victims, wa-wah-waaaah!')
But don't worry, I'm an equal opportunity ranter. I've no doubt I'll have way more rants about my homeland than I ever did about this place. Plop! Splash!
Friday, 25 March 2011
Headin' out ultra-early to look for early spring migrants with my Korean birding buddy. I would have guessed we'd be heading to the southwest coast, but he wants to go northeast. I hope he doesn't just want to look for late winter ducks and migrating waders at Hado, because everyone knows that rare passerines are way sexier.
Thursday, 24 March 2011
Wednesday, 23 March 2011
|Hey! I found a pen down here!|
Tuesday, 22 March 2011
Korea creates strange bedfellows. Groups of foreigners here hang out that wouldn't necessarily be pals in the 'real world'. My English ex told me this with a laugh when we first started dating, ages and effing ages ago : "I would never hang out with you back home." Talk about starting things off well. Also, talk about a back-handed compliment. Actually, maybe that's not technically a back-handed compliment.
Here's a better one, a back-handed invite. A diminutive South Afican once said this to me: "Hey bru, can you come out on a double-date with me tonight? I need a non-threatening wingman." He was far too clever for me, I never picked up on that one. Where is that lil guy now? Oh yeah, no one gives a shit, because he was a little arsehole. Zing!
Monday, 21 March 2011
I told my 514 homeslice the story of how I shit my snowpants when I was 5, and he laughed so hard, I thought we needed to call 119. The story was that I'd eaten a frog-shaped pastry, which I suspect was filled with liquor, or was rotten. So 20 minutes later, I'm all bundled up, watching my dad and his friends play street hockey in the schoolyard. Suddenly, I shit my pants - super-runs. Ashamed, I kept this terrible fact to myself all day, and suffered in silence. My mom wasn't too impressed when she unzipped my snowpants, hours later. I seem to remember that my legs and ass were pretty burned up.
Saturday, 19 March 2011
|Price check, aisle 3.|
Thursday, 17 March 2011
Wednesday, 16 March 2011
|Astonishingly billed as 'Well-being hot dogs'...|
Gotta start a profound clean-up of my little apartment/hovel. There is an epic shitpile on my balcony that's taller than me, and I fear it. I'm thinking there's a healthy slab of wet cardboard and spider eggs at the bottom. I can see a rotting guitar case and clothes that don't fit me draped on top.
Hey, Fargo is on tv again, sweet. What the heck d'you mean?
Surprising to some I'm sure, Parched March continues.
Tuesday, 15 March 2011
Saturday, 12 March 2011
|Stairs are shit.|
|A boring soggy crater awaits.|
|Roe, some deer.|
|Take a breather, deer, you've earned it.|
|I seriously will marry Mt. Halla one day.|
Once, when I was about 9, I puked in my mouth during a fire drill. We were all lined up outside in the schoolyard, I guess watching the school pretend-burn, when my stomach did its flibbidy-flop. I had eaten too many honey-wafer things. Before I knew what the hell was going on, I puked a full puke, inside my mouth. No one noticed. The classes started filing back into the school, but my class was at the far end. I planned on hanging back and getting rid of my foul hitchhiker nonchalantly with no one around. The other classes were moving way too slow. I couldn't hold it anymore, because it was fairly gross. I casually turned my head and put my hand to my mouth, in the way one would when whispering to a friend, and projectile vomited out a jagged, honey-colored puddle about 6 feet away. Wanna hear the insane thing? No one noticed. Actually, I think this one kid in the back noticed. He looked at me with huge moon eyes as we went back in.
Pat Moll factoid: I haven't eaten a muffin since August 2005.
Friday, 11 March 2011
|Rip that nub!|
Halla Bongs are iconic oranges grown on Jeju. They're said to look like the tallest mountain in South Korea, Mt. Halla in the background there. I guess they do. With the nubbiness on top and all. They're wicked delicious, too.Big quake and tsunami just hit next door. Dramatic and scary stuff. Hold onto something Jakey! Man oh man.
Thursday, 10 March 2011
|The Seoul 'skyline'. Gross.|
|If Koreans could chop down mountains to make room for apartments, they would.|
|Korean Air is not doing too well since the budget airlines rolled in hot...|
|Looking for birds near the DMZ.|
|The streets in a place they call 'Hooker Hill'. Note the shoe.|
|Crushing the red hordes.|
|Automated car shelves...FROM THE FUTURE!|
|Shoes all muffed up again. Never again.|
|Hey fuckface! Wake up.|
|Stairway to the infamous 'Hill'.|