RISK

  Some people who choose to avoid cable TV are like pushy fad vegetarians from the mid-90's.  It's like 'Shut the hell up, I don't care if you don't have the cable, and I don't feel guilty about having cable!'  So there.  I don't know what people do without The Discovery Channel.  Or MASH.  Am I really bitter, or do I just have a shitty sense of humor?  Couldn't tell you.  I read books all day, but then what?  Play charades and guzzle laudanum by the murky oil-light?  You can't play RISK every day.  I won this game, by the way - I was green, and those extra two armies for Australia every turn tipped the scales.  I'm number one!  That's the rant for now, but wait for the hipster rant, it'll be epic.  Coming soon!  I'm number one!  I'm number one!  I'm an ass and I'm going to hell, and I bet there's no cable down there.  Just Korean game shows, all day, every day.