Soooo, I saw a guy shit today. I was in a park birdwatching, as I'm known to do. I was sitting on a bench zoning out on the river, when I noticed movement off to my left. I slowly looked over, and to my shock and wonderment I saw a guy shitting. He had his gear down, and was shitting in the grass, looking at me with a blank look on his face. Not wanting to exhibit alarm, which I imagined would cause him to run straight towards me at full speed while shitting, I got up slowly, stretched, and calmly walked in the opposite direction.
I've seen this guy before, and I've also seen human feces in this park before. The park, by the way, is equipped with a luxurious washroom at either entrance. The shitter wears a yellow vest with Korean writing all over it. I used to think he was trying to impersonate an official of some kind, but now I suspect the vest reads 'If you find this guy dropping a deuce in public, please call this number and we'll retrieve both him and the shit.'
Oh, I also saw a car flipped over on its side on a back street today. Must have taken some skill to do that. People milled about, seemingly bored. From her hangdog posture, I'd wager that the girl in the white hoodie did it.
I stared at that picture for a long time looking for clues. I noticed the driver-side wheel is all twisted up 90 degrees. So the girl in the hoodie must've lifted the car, used the front wheel as the fulcrum, spun it around once, and then rested the car on its side. That would make the most sense.
ReplyDeleteWhoa!
ReplyDeleteMaybe he IS an official. The vest reads: Super-Legit All-Organic Fertilization Specialist.
ReplyDelete